Men’s Violence against Women and Girls

Emily Darlington Excerpts

Friday 29th November 2024 Commons Chamber

[Emily Darlington (Milton Keynes Central) (Lab)]

In January, Tia Simmonds was killed by her husband. Her body was hidden in a storage area in the loft of her home, lying face downwards, covered in clothing and bedding. In March, Wendy Francis was stabbed to death by her daughter’s boyfriend, who also tried to kill her daughter. In April, Rachel McDaid was strangled to death with a bootlace by her estranged husband, who had broken into her house. In June, Rita Fleming was drowned in the bath after sustaining serious head injuries from her fiancé. In August, mother of three Courtney Mitchell was chased down the street and stabbed to death in broad daylight by her ex-boyfriend. Every three days in this country, a woman is murdered by a man. Any other murder or violent spree against a group in our society would be front-page news every single day.

[Jim Shannon (Strangford) (DUP)]

I commend and congratulate the hon. Lady on securing this debate. I know that the Minister has a love of Northern Ireland, and in the last year six women have been murdered in Northern Ireland—I understand that all the cases are pending. Does that not illustrate that, no matter where we are in this great United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, the murder rate for women is absolutely abysmal?

[Emily Darlington]

I absolutely agree with the hon. Gentleman—[Interruption.] Or hon. Friend? I feel I know him now from so many interventions. [Laughter.] The fact that this is not front-page news, or top headline news, shows the discrimination and misogyny in the news coverage around the issue. We need to use our positions in the House to make sure it is heard about.

This year, it was confirmed that the most dangerous place for a woman to be anywhere in the world is in her own home. It is estimated that less than 24% of domestic abuse crime is reported to the police, yet the police receive domestic abuse-related calls every 30 seconds. Domestic abuse is devastating not just for the women in receipt of it but for the children who observe it. Domestic abuse comes in all forms—violent, emotional and financial. One in four women in England and Wales will experience domestic abuse in her lifetime.

[Warinder Juss (Wolverhampton West) (Lab)]

In Wolverhampton last year, it was estimated that more than 6,000 women were subjected to domestic abuse. Will my hon. Friend commend the “Orange Wolverhampton” campaign, which runs from 25 November to 10 December every year? The campaign involves the Wolverhampton safeguarding team, the Safer Wolverhampton Partnership, and the City of Wolverhampton council working together to highlight the issue of men’s violence against women, including domestic abuse and the violence against young women that is sadly so prevalent these days.

[Emily Darlington]

I know that Wolverhampton has many community campaigns to change the tide of violence against women and girls. I know that that has been happening in cities and towns across our country, but we need to be there to support those campaigns for them to have a true impact. I take this opportunity to thank an organisation in my own constituency, MK ACT, which has done enormous work, including running a refuge and perpetrator programmes to support not only those who have been victims of domestic abuse, but those who perpetrate it. Work such as that has been trying to stem the tide of abuse in our communities.

[Sarah Smith (Hyndburn) (Lab)]

Do my hon. Friend and the Minister agree that we need to ensure the ongoing funding of the critical organisations in our communities that are supporting women and girls, such as the Emily Davison centre? It was the first centre for ending violence against women and girls to be established in the UK, in Accrington. Furthermore, will my hon. Friend pay tribute to the amazing work of one of the councillors in my constituency, Samara Barnes, who with Safer Rossendale is leading on a brilliant scheme in Haslingden to ensure that Christmas parties are safer this year, following on from the very important development in legislation tackling spiking of people’s drinks?

[Emily Darlington]

It has been a long day for all of us, and I really appreciate that hon. Members have stayed so late on such an important day—

[Mr Speaker]

Don’t worry about Jim!

[Emily Darlington]

Right—I am waiting for the next intervention. I agree with my hon. Friend the Member for Hyndburn (Sarah Smith) that councillors in their local communities and organisations such as that are making the difference and are the places that women are turning to because, unfortunately, the system is letting them down—not least around rape. Despite five out of six rapes not even being reported to the police, in the year ending July almost 70,000 women courageously reported their rape. Only 2.7% of those ever made it to charge and court, while for other crimes the rate is 7%. That means in this country it is easier to get away with rape than with robbery.

[Sarah Dyke (Glastonbury and Somerton) (LD)]

I thank the hon. Member for securing this important debate. There are around 3,000 reports of violence against women and girls made in Somerset every month and at least one in 12 women experience violence against them each year. Many of those incidents go unreported. A constituent of mine was sadly regularly physically abused and gaslighted by her ex-partner, and she felt really disappointed and disillusioned with the police response. To me it is no wonder that so many women are not confident in reporting the abuse against them. So does the hon. Member agree with me that gaslighting is a serious problem in tackling violence against women and girls?

[Emily Darlington]

The hon. Member is absolutely right; we need to look at why women do not have confidence in reporting to police. Some of that will be because of the numbers that we have seen go through to prosecution, and because of their worries that it will get worse for them before it gets better and about the protection they may or may not receive.

However, I am really proud to be part of a Government that has declared violence against women and girls to be a national emergency. I am proud of the work we have already done, committing to halve it, with the introduction of the domestic abuse protection orders to give great greater protection to women, Raneem’s law to transform how police handle domestic violence calls, workplace harassment laws, new protections for victims of stalking, and making spiking a specific criminal offence. No doubt that is down to the amazing women we have leading on this issue in Government, not least my hon. Friend the Minister, the Under-Secretary of State for Justice, my hon. Friend the Member for Pontypridd (Alex Davies-Jones), and my right hon. Friend the Home Secretary, and their absolute commitment and tireless work on this issue.

[Mr Richard Holden (Basildon and Billericay) (Con)]

I congratulate the hon. Lady on securing this debate. What she is saying is absolutely right. Does she agree that changes in law made in this place can help lead to broader cultural change in society? We need to be at the forefront of these changes. Sometimes it can be quite difficult, but we must pick up that challenge, particularly when it comes to tackling violence against women and girls.

[Emily Darlington]

I thank the hon. Member for his intervention; I absolutely agree. When we see Members from across the House raising this issue in Northern Ireland questions, Westminster Hall and in the various debates we have, we know that it will have an impact on not only what the Government do but how men and women perceive this issue in our communities.

I want to talk about those perceptions, particularly the perceptions of young men. We often hear the platitude that for women it has always been this way, but is that actually true? A 2024 Crown Prosecution Service survey of 18 to 24-year-old men shows that it is not. Half of 18 to 24-year-olds think that it is not rape if the victim does not resist or fight back. Over half think that being in a relationship or marriage means that consent to sex can be assumed. Two thirds believe that if a person says online that they want to meet up and have sex, they are entitled to the sex when they meet, no matter whether the individual changes their mind. More than half think that if a man has been drinking or taking drugs, he is not responsible for the rapes he commits.

[Will Stone (Swindon North) (Lab)]

Does the House agree that we need to do more to tackle toxic masculinity by people and influencers like Andrew Tate, because they are at the forefront of putting these ideas into the minds of young men?

[Emily Darlington]

I thank my hon. Friend for his intervention. I am just about to come on to that point.

The result of this survey showed that young men between 18 and 24 have a significantly poorer understanding of rape and consent than those over the age of 65. How has this happened? Young men are being radicalised in the same way as recognised terrorist groups radicalise people. There is this sense of entitlement, righteousness and belonging to community, but a community whose role models include Andrew Tate, who says that,

“if you put yourself in a position to be raped, you must bear some responsibility”,

and:

“Losers love to talk about feelings.”

Talking about women, he says “grip her by the neck” in a video viewed over 1.6 million times. Eight out of 10 boys between 16 and 17 know about, watch, read or listen to these videos, and almost half of them have a positive view of him.

[Josh Fenton-Glynn (Calder Valley) (Lab)]

I thank my hon. Friend for securing this debate, and for the way it has been conducted at the end of quite a long day. I have been a proud champion of the White Ribbon campaign for many years—it is based in my constituency. Key to that campaign is the idea that it starts with men taking responsibility for how they and their friends act. In this place, our job is to legislate. Does my hon. Friend agree that part of that job is ensuring that we get education right?

At the moment, the education system does not do enough to address this, and we can see that in the results. UK Feminista stats show that almost four in 10 girls who go to mixed schools have been sexually harassed while at school. That is not acceptable. Children cannot learn if they are in fear. Human beings should have the right to live without fear. That is what I want to see in this country, in our education system and throughout society.

[Emily Darlington]

I absolutely agree with my hon. Friend, who is a big champion on this issue, not least with White Ribbon UK being in his constituency.

I want to move on to that subject. What do we do to make sure we challenge this? The work that the Government are doing is to challenge this through the law and the courts, but it is up to us to challenge it in our communities. We are role models in our communities. That is why I am proud to have led Milton Keynes to become the first White Ribbon city.

[Jo White (Bassetlaw) (Lab)]

I thank my hon. Friend for securing this debate. This is so important for how we behave both as a society and in this House.

I have tabled an early-day motion calling for Disclosure and Barring Service checks for all Members of both Houses, as I think this would lead to greater transparency and openness. It would hopefully make us all feel safer in the corridors of power but, more importantly, it would give the institutions we visit, such as care homes and schools, much greater confidence in who they are letting through their doors. Would my hon. Friend support such a proposal?

[Emily Darlington]

I thank my hon. Friend, who I know cares deeply about this issue. I see the value in ensuring there is no fear when a Member of Parliament visits. People should always be able to have confidence in us around the elderly, children and women in our constituencies.

The theme of this year’s White Ribbon Day is “It starts with men.” Not all men are violent, but all men can help end violence against women and girls. I thank some of the men who have spoken on this issue recently, and who are paving the way as incredible role models for other men. My hon. Friend the Member for Calder Valley (Josh Fenton-Glynn) has worked tirelessly on this issue, my hon. Friend the Member for Blackpool South (Chris Webb) spoke passionately at the White Ribbon Day reception, and many others spoke in the Westminster Hall debate and have asked questions in this House.

It starts with us in this House. When Members fall short, it is right that we, the men and women of this House, call it out. Through the Modernisation Committee and other initiatives, such as DBS checks, I hope we can determine whether Members with violent criminal records have been elected to this House.

[Alison Hume (Scarborough and Whitby) (Lab)]

Refuges offer protection from perpetrators, time to recover from abuse and a range of support to enable survivors to rebuild their lives, yet 61% of refuge referrals in England last year had to be declined due to lack of capacity. Scarborough and Whitby has the highest rate of recorded domestic incidents in North Yorkshire, but it has no refuge. Does my hon. Friend agree that the refuge sector needs more support?

[Emily Darlington]

I absolutely agree with my hon. Friend. There are far too few refuges, and those that exist often have too few beds and are often not appropriate for the kind of care and support that both survivors and their children need. I would like to see more examples like the purpose-built refuge in Milton Keynes, which provides care and counselling for every family member who needs to flee. However, achieving this will require more support from both local authorities and the Government. We must ensure that best practice is shared and that funding is in place.

Excuses have been made for far too long. “I was drunk.” “Her skirt was short.” “Her heels were high.” “It was a teenage indiscretion.” We must remember that our behaviour, our words and our actions are being watched. We have the opportunity to turn the tide for the 50% of the population who are scared to walk down the street, to attend a festival, to go for a run or even to go home.

The statistics on violence against woman and girls make too many women feel like it is inevitable that something will happen to them, even if it has already happened to them before. To them, it feels like only a matter of time. It is up to every Member of this House, women and men, to hold themselves up as an example of how real men behave and how women deserve to be treated.

Violence against Women and Girls

Emily Darlington Excerpts

Wednesday 27th November 2024 Westminster Hall

[Emily Darlington (Milton Keynes Central) (Lab)]

Every woman has a story and every woman knows how to carry her keys as a weapon. Any other extremism and murder on this scale would be front-page news every single day, but what we see instead is language like “incels” and “red pill”, which hides what is actually going on with our young men and boys.

I am thinking of people like Andrew Tate, who very openly says:

“If you put yourself in a position to be raped, you must bear some responsibility.”

In a video viewed 1.6 million times, he discusses how you should fight a woman, saying that you should

“grip her up by the neck.”

Eight out of 10 boys aged between 16 and 18 have read, listened to or watched Andrew Tate, and they have a positive view of him. They think that he wants them “to be real men” and that “he gives good advice”.

This is the core of the issue. Some people will say that this has always been the issue. It has, yes, but not at this scale. Young men’s attitudes are more misogynistic and violent than their elders’. Only half of young men between 18 and 24 recognise that rape can still happen if the victim does not resist or fight back. Less than half of them think that if a man has been drinking or taking drugs, then he is still responsible if he rapes someone. If someone says they want to meet online, most young men think that they deserve sex as a result. Yes, our 16 days of activism starts with men, but it is also for men’s sake—because this toxic masculinity is causing problems across our society—and for the lives of our women and girls.