Oral Answers to Questions

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Thursday 31st October 2019 Commons Chamber

[Mr Speaker]

The hon. Member for Congleton (Fiona Bruce) has offered a beautiful tribute, but every word of it was richly deserved by the right hon. Lady.

[Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) (Con)]

9. What discussions she has had with the Secretary of State for Digital, Culture, Media and Sport on the effective use of churches in the telecommunications network.

Checks on Goods: Northern Ireland and Great Britain

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Thursday 24th October 2019 Commons Chamber

[Mr Speaker]

Order. I call the author of the brevity textbook, Sir Desmond Swayne.

[Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) (Con)]

What proportion of goods from non-EU countries are currently subject to physical checks on entering the UK and the Republic of Ireland?

Speaker’s Statement

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Monday 21st October 2019 Commons Chamber

[Mr Speaker]

I note what the hon. Lady has said. The second point is a political one, to which I will not respond. In relation to “Erskine May”, it is available free online. In relation to the same question convention, I simply make the point that when I pronounced on the same question convention on 18 March, one of the early responses came from an hon. Member who said:

“may I say how delighted I am that you have decided to follow precedent, which is something I am greatly in favour of?”—[Official Report, 18 March 2019; Vol. 656, c. 778.]

He went on to make other supporting points. The person who responded in that way was none other than the current Leader of the House, the right hon. Member for North East Somerset (Mr Rees-Mogg). The Leader of the House was very much with me at that time on the same question convention. I take the same view seven months later, and it is for him to explain whether he does.

[Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) (Con)]

Further to that point of order, Mr Speaker. However unfashionable it might be, I believe that you are quite right, and by the same token, it is quite wrong to expect the voters to have to answer the same question a second time.

[Mr Speaker]

I have known the right hon. Gentleman for 22 years. I like him so much that I do not want to ruin a burgeoning political career, as he is only probably a quarter of the way through his, but one of his great merits is that he is a model of consistency, principle and fair-mindedness.

Oral Answers to Questions

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Thursday 25th July 2019 Commons Chamber

[Mr Speaker]

I am very grateful to the right hon. Lady. I am bound to say to her that I do not read the organ in question and therefore I am not familiar with that piece. I have no idea about it and frankly have absolutely no interest in it whatsoever. I know the Rev. Rose extremely well. She has proved to be a magnificent and enormously popular servant of this House. She will be a wonderful bishop. Dover’s gain is our loss, and we should take vicarious pride in the fact that someone valued and cherished by us is valued and cherished by the Church of England. Scribblers scribble; they matter, frankly, not a jot.

[Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) (Con)]

2. If the Church of England will expedite the process by which parishes apply to host telecommunications masts.

Gulf of Oman Oil Tanker Attacks

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Monday 17th June 2019 Commons Chamber

[Mr Speaker]

For the Minister to be commended for his honour was doubtless welcome. To be congratulated also upon his wisdom is doubtless positively exhilarating, and I feel sure that today—at least for now—his cup runneth over in appreciation of his hon. Friend.

[Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) (Con)]

It won’t last.

[Mr Speaker]

I am sure it will.

Whorlton Hall

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Thursday 23rd May 2019 Commons Chamber

[Mr Speaker]

Order. This is an extremely important and sensitive matter, but I am looking to move on to the business question at 11 o’clock, so short questions and short—though, I am sure, informative—replies are required.

[Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) (Con)]

What happens at the Care Quality Commission’s headquarters when a story such as this emerges? Are the inspectors who so recently rated the facility summoned in for a meeting without coffee, or perhaps with the rough end of a pineapple?

Leaving the European Union

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Wednesday 22nd May 2019 Commons Chamber

[Mr Speaker]

A Hampshire knight who represents a beautiful forest—I call Sir Desmond Swayne.

[Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) (Con)]

Out by the end of July, she says! A Brexiteer of whatever flavour could grant the Bill a Second Reading, saving their reservations for Committee, and make their final judgment on Third Reading, could they not? And what is a folderol?

National Security Council Leak

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Thursday 2nd May 2019 Commons Chamber

[Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) (Con)]

rose—

[Mr Speaker]

The right hon. Member for New Forest West looks as though he is about to start to sprint. I think that he must be heard.

[Sir Desmond Swayne]

Thank you, Mr Speaker.

Outside this House, a right hon. Member is being called a liar, and inside this House, a number of Members have implied as much. Natural justice demands that the evidence be produced so that his reputation can be salvaged or utterly destroyed, doesn’t it?

Business of the House

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Thursday 4th April 2019 Commons Chamber

[Mr Speaker]

The brevity tsar himself, Sir Desmond Swayne.

[Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) (Con)]

You missed it, Mr Speaker, because your focus was properly on what was happening in the Chamber, but the prolonged demonstration in the Public Gallery was a function of the fact that, first, the police had to be called and, secondly, the police, frankly, have a different way of operating and different priorities. Our Doorkeepers are trained in the practice but no longer carry it out, because the House will not insure them. Can we have a statement next week on how this is to be remedied?

Oral Answers to Questions

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Monday 11th March 2019 Commons Chamber

[Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) (Con)]

rose—

[Mr Speaker]

It is time for the right hon. Gentleman to issue his brevity textbook. Let us have an extract.

[Sir Desmond Swayne]

We are spending more per pupil than any other G7 nation, but headteachers are complaining that they are cleaning the loos themselves. Something is going wrong. What is it?

Oral Answers to Questions

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Thursday 21st February 2019 Commons Chamber

[Mr Speaker]

I must say to the House that I have observed bell ringing being undertaken in Winslow and in Lillingstone Lovell in my constituency, and very skilfully undertaken it was too. For my own part, I am bound to say that I think I was very maladroit when trying to bell ring. I found it a most strenuous activity. But there you go—perhaps with practice I might get a little bit better.

[Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) (Con)]

Will my right hon. Friend make representations to the Secretary of State for Digital, Culture, Media and Sport about the loss of income to belfries from letting them to telecommunication companies for their antennae? As a consequence of the cack-handed introduction of the telecommunications code, the loss of income is as disconcerting to bell ringers as it is to the vicar.

Deprivation of Citizenship Status

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Wednesday 20th February 2019 Commons Chamber

[Mr Speaker]

Order. Criticism by one right hon. or hon. Member of another is not a novel phenomenon. I have heard what the hon. and learned Lady said, but she has other colleagues who can pursue these matters in questioning and I am sure that she will take that opportunity. It would not be right for me to intercede at this point, other than to request that the House hears from Sir Desmond Swayne.

[Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) (Con)]

The Home Secretary’s power to deprive is open to challenge and, in most cases, will not exist at all. I urge him once again to arm himself with powers of Executive detention so that people can be sufficiently quarantined before they are allowed back.

Oral Answers to Questions

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Thursday 14th February 2019 Commons Chamber

[Mr Speaker]

I hope that the hon. Member for Tonbridge and Malling (Tom Tugendhat) enjoyed either his breakfast or the rare benefit of a lie-in—I know not which. No doubt we will hear from him in due course.

[Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) (Con)]

2. What plans he has to repair the A35 at Redbridge.

Points of Order

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Tuesday 8th January 2019 Commons Chamber

[Mr Speaker]

I will go so far as to say that I agree with the hon. Gentleman that the answer to his question was not helpful. Moreover, I hope that he is with me when I say that, ordinarily, the deployment of the three words, “In due course,” tends to suggest and to be interpreted by Members to mean not for quite some time. It is therefore at least mildly surprising that the hon. Gentleman got such an uninformative response, but one that perhaps suggested that progress would not be speedy only to discover indirectly, rather than at first hand, that the announcement had in fact been made. I do understand his discontent, and I can only repeat my view that ministerial replies to parliamentary questions should be both speedy and substantive. In providing such replies, it would always be helpful if Ministers saw it as a proper courtesy to answer Members first. If there are no further points of orders—

[Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) (Con)]

rose—

[Mr Speaker]

Has the right hon. Gentleman got a point of order?

[Sir Desmond Swayne]

If I might offer an observation, Mr Speaker, on your response to the point of order raised by my hon. Friend the Member for Wycombe (Mr Baker).

[Mr Speaker]

I am now all agog. I am always excited and in a state of eager anticipation to hear what the right hon. Gentleman has to say on everything.

[Sir Desmond Swayne]

I just wish to offer the opinion that, with respect to the answer that you gave to my hon. Friend, Mr Speaker, change is always for the worse.

[Mr Speaker]

I cannot say that I am entirely surprised to hear the right hon. Gentleman volunteer that view. He and I came into the House together in May 1997, so I have known him for nearly 22 years. I think that he is probably well familiar with, and even given to regularly reciting to himself, that old adage of Lord Falkland, which is that if it is

“not necessary to change, it is necessary not to change.”

I think we will leave it there for now, but I will always profit from the right hon. Gentleman’s counsels.

Speaker’s Statement

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Wednesday 19th December 2018 Commons Chamber

[Mr Speaker]

I am grateful to the hon. Lady for her initial remarks and for her subsequent point of order, to which my response is that there may be an opportunity for those concerns to be aired during the course of the afternoon.

[Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) (Con)]

On a point of order, Mr Speaker. Can I declare an interest, as someone who has a bad habit of making utterances under my breath in this Chamber? My point of order to you, Sir, is, had you received different advice from the lipspeakers, giving incontrovertible evidence as to what the Leader of the Opposition had said, what would have been the result? I am deeply concerned about the fact that if Members are to be upbraided for what they might say under their breath, we are in the realms of thought crime, and this is the madness that is sweeping universities. What was said was not on the record.

[Mr Speaker]

I am grateful to the right hon. Gentleman. I think I have already pointed to the impossibility of certainty in these matters. I repeat that I think most people would accept the reasonableness of my point. I note, with interest and respect, the point the right hon. Gentleman, who is an extremely experienced and distinguished parliamentarian, has made.

ONS Decisions: Student Loans

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Tuesday 18th December 2018 Commons Chamber

[Mr Speaker]

Order. Perhaps the right hon. Member for New Forest West (Sir Desmond Swayne) can offer us a reprise of his masterclass on brevity.

[Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) (Con)]

Given the provenance of this accounting rule, why did the ONS not get on to it earlier?

Ebola Response Update

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Tuesday 20th November 2018 Commons Chamber

[Mr Speaker]

We will now have an exemplification of brevity—I call Sir Desmond Swayne.

[Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) (Con)]

Victims are at their most infectious when they are dead. A key intervention in Sierra Leone was burial teams; are they being deployed in the Congo?

Universal Credit

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Monday 5th November 2018 Commons Chamber

[Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) (Con)]

rose—

[Mr Speaker]

I appeal to the right hon. Member for New Forest West (Sir Desmond Swayne) now to republish his brevity textbook in the hope that others will follow.

[Sir Desmond Swayne]

“The Government has listened to the frontline. These are significant improvements that will make a real difference.” Who said that?

October EU Council

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Monday 22nd October 2018 Commons Chamber

[Mr Speaker]

Brevity himself, Sir Desmond Swayne.

[Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) (Con)]

The original technical proposal and the facilitated customs agreement have both been rejected, so what can the Prime Minister conceive that might be brought forward to solve the Northern Ireland problem in the next two or even three years?

Green GB Week and Clean Growth

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Monday 15th October 2018 Commons Chamber

[Claire Perry]

If my right hon. Friend has a moment to go on to the fantastic Green GB Week website, he will find 10 things that he and local businesses in his constituency can do, ranging from test driving electric vehicles to upgrading heating controls and understanding where his pension is invested. If he wants to signal the importance of this transition, he should make sure that his investments are in a pension plan that is not investing in unsustainable businesses. There are many things he can do and I would love to hear back from him about which ones he does.

[Mr Speaker]

I trust that the right hon. Gentleman will be accessing the said website within a matter of minutes, if not indeed seconds.

[Sir Desmond Swayne]

indicated assent.

[Mr Speaker]

The right hon. Gentleman is nodding in a way that is encouraging.

Oral Answers to Questions

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Thursday 12th July 2018 Commons Chamber

[Mr Speaker]

There is no prohibition on the use of the term. It can apply to a collective, but not to an individual. The judgment as to whether the Minister is on the right side of the line falls to me. Happily, from the point of view of the right hon. Gentleman, he has not erred.

[Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) (Con)]

Persuade me that the common rulebook is not the acquis by another name.

Oral Answers to Questions

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Thursday 5th July 2018 Commons Chamber

[Mr Speaker]

The concept of a signalling outage was previously unknown to me, but I suppose that it merely reinforces one in the knowledge that one learns something new every day.

[Sir Desmond Swayne]

What will they think of next?

[Mr Speaker]

One wonders.

Universal Credit

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Thursday 5th July 2018 Commons Chamber

[Mr Speaker]

No, the hon. Lady has already had one bite at the cherry. Let us have a masterclass from Sir Desmond Swayne.

[Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) (Con)]

Mr Speaker, if you complain to me that I am being too slow, am I unreasonable in assuming that you want me to go faster?

LGBT Action Plan

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Tuesday 3rd July 2018 Commons Chamber

[Mr Speaker]

Order. The right hon. Member for New Forest West (Sir Desmond Swayne) should remain in his place.

[Sir Desmond Swayne]

I was coming for the hon. Member for Rhondda (Chris Bryant).

[Mr Speaker]

That sounds like a threat! The right hon. Gentleman should not be beetling along the Bench when the Minister is answering. He is normally a most courteous fellow, but I think he has got carried away. I know that he will now listen with respectful attention and in all solemnity to the Minister.

Oral Answers to Questions

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Monday 2nd July 2018 Commons Chamber

[Mr Speaker]

I think we must have a dose of Swayne.

[Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) (Con)]

What is the impact on housing association tenants?

Points of Order

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Tuesday 19th June 2018 Commons Chamber

[Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) (Con)]

On a point of order, Mr Speaker. Where is everybody? I hope, in the light of the extraordinary accusations of the right hon. Member for North Norfolk (Norman Lamb), they are not behind the bike sheds having a spliff.

[Mr Speaker]

That is a most unworthy thought. The right hon. Gentleman articulates it with his usual brio and panache, but I think he errs on the side of pessimism in his assessment of the character of his colleagues.

European Union (Withdrawal) Bill: Sewel Convention

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Thursday 14th June 2018 Commons Chamber

[Mr Speaker]

Order. The right hon. Member for Ross, Skye and Lochaber (Ian Blackford) must be able to complete his contribution—

[Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) (Con)]

Really?

[Mr Speaker]

Yes, really! [Interruption.] Order. What was that? Somebody chuntered from a sedentary position.

US Steel and Aluminium Tariffs

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Monday 4th June 2018 Commons Chamber

[Mr Speaker]

Order. The hon. Member for Na h-Eileanan an Iar (Angus Brendan MacNeil) is chuntering from a sedentary position about putting something in a bunker. I am not going to comment on that. It is not for me to pronounce on the merits or demerits of the matter, but I simply say, with due affection to the hon. Member for Bassetlaw (John Mann), that it is always interesting to hear from him on the golfing situation, and we have done so today.

[Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) (Con)]

How realistic was it to have expected a concession on steel notwithstanding our having publicly announced our intent to undermine US security policy and trade policy on Iran?

Transport Emissions: Urban Areas

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Tuesday 22nd May 2018 Commons Chamber

[Mr Speaker]

I always richly enjoy the Secretary of State’s performances, almost as richly as he does himself. I hope, however, he will not take it amiss if I gently point out that to refer to the hon. Member for Brent North is in order, but to name him is not.

[Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) (Con)]

Shocking!

[Mr Speaker]

It is shocking, as the right hon. Gentleman observes in a disorderly manner from a sedentary position.

--- Later in debate ---

[Michael Gove]

I know that my right hon. Friend is one of the most responsible dwellers in the New Forest. He would never burn wet wood or coal with a high level of bitumen; only the driest and most parched twigs will find their way on to his fire and he will use only the appropriate and less smoky coal. I also know that he lives in one of the most beautiful parts of rural Hampshire, and as a result any emissions he generates are unlikely to form a particularly toxic cloud.

[Mr Speaker]

The Secretary of State is obviously immensely familiar with the right hon. Gentleman’s domestic arrangements, and we are all greatly fortified by the knowledge of that important fact.

[Sir Desmond Swayne]

He is very kind, but quite right.

Tower Block Cladding

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Monday 21st May 2018 Commons Chamber

[Mr Speaker]

Order. There is considerable interest in this matter, as I would have anticipated, and which I shall endeavour to accommodate, but it might help the House if I advise colleagues that I do not want to run this urgent question at great length. There is another to follow; there will be many further opportunities to debate Grenfell; and of course we have other important business of which to treat. Succinctness personified would be appreciated and could be aided by the right hon. Member for New Forest West (Sir Desmond Swayne) if he were standing, but it will not be because he is not.

[Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) (Con)]

rose—

[Mr Speaker]

But it will be, because he now is.

[Sir Desmond Swayne]

What can be done to encourage developers to follow the example of Barratt?

Schools That Work For Everyone

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Monday 14th May 2018 Commons Chamber

[Mr Speaker]

I call the author of the standard textbook on brevity, Sir Desmond Swayne.

[Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) (Con)]

What argument persuaded the Secretary of State to drop the manifesto commitment on the cap for free schools?

Tributes (Speaker Martin)

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Tuesday 1st May 2018 Commons Chamber

[Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) (Con)]

Mr Speaker, I mean this genuinely as a compliment. Michael Martin was a fine man and a fine-looking man, not unlike yourself, and, as I have told you before, I have no doubt that both of you would have looked better in tights and wigs; but let that be.

I had several run-ins with Michael Martin. Indeed, he once told me in front of the whole House that I should go and sit in a dark room “until the feeling goes away”. But it was a bit like offending you, Mr Speaker: if a Member took his rebuke like a man, it was all over, and it was back to his ordinary, easy-going charm and his deep commitment and friendship within the House.

I particularly recall his summoning me when I was called up to serve in the Army in Iraq in May 2003. He was a former soldier himself, a former Territorial, and it was absolutely clear to me that he was genuinely concerned for my welfare and that of my family. He gave me some very good advice indeed. He was a thoroughly good man.

[Mr Speaker]

I thank the right hon. Gentleman. I am so glad that he said what he did.

Windrush

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Monday 30th April 2018 Commons Chamber

[Mr Speaker]

Order. Given the level of interest, the House’s propensity for rehearsed mini-speeches as prefaces to questions needs today to be curtailed. I am looking for short, preferably single-sentence inquiries. I am looking, in fact, in the direction of the author of the textbook on the matter, the right hon. Member for New Forest West (Sir Desmond Swayne), but I do not know if he was standing. No. What a pity: he could have educated colleagues.

[Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) (Con)]

I will have a go.

[Mr Speaker]

Well done—very well done indeed! Splendid fellow!

[Sir Desmond Swayne]

While I know that the Home Secretary favours the word, “compliance”, some of us believe that hostility to lawbreaking is a proper response.

Oral Answers to Questions

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Monday 26th March 2018 Commons Chamber

[Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) (Con)]

rose—

[Mr Speaker]

New Forest West brevity now, to be copied by others afterwards.

[Sir Desmond Swayne]

Is there evidence that in-work benefits depress wages?

Money Laundering

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Monday 19th March 2018 Commons Chamber

[Mr Speaker]

Order. A very large number of hon. and right hon. Members are seeking to catch my eye, but I remind the House that there are two further urgent questions to follow, meaning that there is a premium now upon brevity, which, as always, will be brilliantly exemplified by Sir Desmond Swayne.

[Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) (Con)]

How much have we secured since the implementation of the Proceeds of Crime Act 2002?

Oral Answers to Questions

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Thursday 15th March 2018 Commons Chamber

[Mr Speaker]

The hon. Member for Huddersfield (Mr Sheerman) was wittering about strawberries in December, or something of that sort. Anyway, we look forward to hearing his views with force and eloquence later in our exchanges.

[Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) (Con)]

2. What recent progress has been made on negotiating the terms on which the UK will leave the EU.

Water Supply Disruption

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Tuesday 6th March 2018 Commons Chamber

[Mr Speaker]

That is very gracious of the Minister. Jonson Cox is in fact an estimable fellow. I have met him on many occasions, including at the Great Brickhill cricket club. I hope he recalls that, because I certainly do.

[Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) (Con)]

We have too much water in the lower Avon. When is the Minister coming to have a look?

Oral Answers to Questions

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Monday 5th March 2018 Commons Chamber

[Mr Speaker]

Succinctness personified—I call Sir Desmond Swayne.

[Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) (Con)]

T10. What personnel have been reassigned to recruitment?

Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland: Border Arrangements

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Wednesday 28th February 2018 Commons Chamber

[Mr Speaker]

Pithiness personified—Sir Desmond Swayne.

[Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) (Con)]

What lies behind the European Commission’s partial decision to develop the options?

Post-18 Education

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Tuesday 20th February 2018 Commons Chamber

[Mr Speaker]

Order. Understandably, there is intense interest in this subject, but I advise the House that there is a ten-minute rule motion to follow and that I have been informed that it is the intention of one Member to oppose it. Thereafter, there is the Second Reading of a Bill, to which 20 hon. Members want to contribute. I must therefore insist that we do not have speeches or pre-conceived rants. What is required is a pithy question, and I know that the Secretary of State will provide a pithy answer. If people do not want to deliver that, then they should not bother taking part today, because it is not fair on colleagues. We can always be led in such a matter by the right hon. Member for New Forest West (Sir Desmond Swayne).

[Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) (Con)]

How few students actually pay 6%?

Oral Answers to Questions

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Monday 5th February 2018 Commons Chamber

[Mr Speaker]

That is a perfectly reasonable course of action for the Secretary of State to take, but it is not a point of order. It might be called a point of information that some colleagues will find helpful.

[Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) (Con)]

rose—

[Mr Speaker]

Is the right hon. Gentleman seeking to raise a point of order, or is he stretching his legs? [Interruption.] The right hon. Member for Broxtowe (Anna Soubry) says he is keeping himself awake.

Rail Update

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Monday 5th February 2018 Commons Chamber

[Mr Speaker]

I simply advise the hon. Gentleman, in all friendliness and candour, that he was only 43 seconds over his time.

[Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) (Con)]

It seemed longer.

[Mr Speaker]

I do not know how long it seemed to the right hon. Gentleman, who is usually quite a patient fellow. Not everybody, I am afraid, is as succinct as the right hon. Gentleman, who has developed it into an art form, but the hon. Member for Kilmarnock and Loudoun (Alan Brown) must do better.

--- Later in debate ---

[Mr Speaker]

We will start with one that I feel sure, from experience and precedent, will be very brief. I call Sir Desmond Swayne.

[Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) (Con)]

How good is Lord Adonis’s memory?

Oral Answers to Questions

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Thursday 25th January 2018 Commons Chamber

[Mr Speaker]

I call Rehman Chishti. Where is the fellow? He is not here—oh dear, oh dear. Never mind. All is well with the world; the right hon. Member for New Forest West (Sir Desmond Swayne) is here.

[Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) (Con)]

T5. Will the Minister come and see what we can do to restore the Avon water meadows?

Oral Answers to Questions

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Thursday 18th January 2018 Commons Chamber

[Mr Speaker]

A very short question is required so, of course, I look in the direction of the right hon. Member for New Forest West (Sir Desmond Swayne).

[Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) (Con)]

Is there an end to M3 night closures?

Oral Answers to Questions

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Wednesday 17th January 2018 Commons Chamber

[Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) (Con)]

rose—[Interruption.]

[Mr Speaker]

Order. The right hon. Gentleman is extremely alert, and I am alert to what he is going to say.

[Sir Desmond Swayne]

A question keeps me awake at night: how will companies be encouraged to follow the Prime Minister’s lead in the way that Iceland has done?

Oral Answers to Questions

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Tuesday 9th January 2018 Commons Chamber

[Mr Speaker]

In seeking to speed up progress, I look with enormous confidence to Sir Desmond Swayne.

[Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) (Con)]

8. What diplomatic steps he is taking to promote global ocean conservation.

Oral Answers to Questions

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Thursday 21st December 2017 Commons Chamber

[Mr Speaker]

Sir Desmond Swayne.

[Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) (Con)]

rose—

[Mr Speaker]

So attentive was I to the words of the Attorney General that I failed to realise that we have not yet heard the supplementary question. Let’s hear the fellow: Tanmanjeet Singh Dhesi.

Supported Housing

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Thursday 21st December 2017 Commons Chamber

[Mr Speaker]

Order. This is an extremely important matter and I am keen to accommodate colleagues’ interest in it. However, I should remind the House of what I said earlier, namely that two heavily subscribed debates are due to take place under the auspices of the Backbench Business Committee when this exchange has been concluded. It would be good if contributions did not expand to fill the time available. What we are looking for here is a short question and a short reply. The former will be brilliantly exemplified, as always, by the author of the textbook on the matter, Sir Desmond Swayne.

[Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) (Con)]

Will account be taken of the security measures that are proper for refuges that deal with people fleeing domestic violence?

Brexit Negotiations

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Monday 11th December 2017 Commons Chamber

[Mr Speaker]

I advise the House that, in the first hour, we have had 27 Back-Bench contributions, but there are no fewer than 57 Members still wishing to participate. The Prime Minister has been commendably succinct in her replies, but some questions have erred on the side of prolixity, so there is now a premium on brevity, which is brilliantly exemplified, on almost every occasion, by Sir Desmond Swayne.

[Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) (Con)]

Does any regulatory alignment exclude the possibility of sharing a common external tariff?

[Mr Speaker]

I am grateful to the right hon. Gentleman for proving my point.

Points of Order

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Monday 4th December 2017 Commons Chamber

[Mr Speaker]

The matter of regulatory divergence has not crossed my desk today.

[Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) (Con)]

Nor mine!

[Mr Speaker]

The right hon. Member for New Forest West chunters from a sedentary position that it has not crossed his desk either. The question of what Ministers do in respect of briefing their own Members is not known to me, but I think I can say with complete confidence that this House will be briefed about this matter and will have an opportunity fully to question the relevant Minister, be it the Prime Minister or the Brexit Secretary, on it. I hope that Members will accept that on the basis that they do not have to look into the crystal ball when they can read the book. I say this, I hope, in no spirit of immodesty. I run statements in this place more fully than used to be done in the past, and I do that because I think that the priority is for Members of the House to have the opportunity to question and challenge the Executive, even if now and again the Executive find that irritating. That does not bother me at all. I always try to put the House first, so worry not. Everyone will get a chance to be heard.

Oral Answers to Questions

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Tuesday 21st November 2017 Commons Chamber

[Mr Speaker]

Our early lunchtime exchanges would be incomplete if we did not have the participation of the right hon. Member for New Forest West (Sir Desmond Swayne).

[Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) (Con)]

15. When a Minister of his Department last visited Bangladesh.

Oral Answers to Questions

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Monday 13th November 2017 Commons Chamber

[Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) (Con)]

15. How much longer can a claimant spend looking for a job on universal credit?

[Mr Speaker]

Very well: we have heard the right hon. Gentleman on Question 14, although he did not seek agreement to that proposition. He simply blurted it out, but we will accept that on this occasion.

Leaving the EU: Parliamentary Vote

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Thursday 26th October 2017 Commons Chamber

[Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) (Con)]

On a very germane point of order, Mr Speaker.

[Mr Speaker]

Ah! A new criterion in the mind of the right hon. Gentleman: that a point of order should be selected earlier than it otherwise would be, on account of the self-description “germane”. Because I am in an indulgent mood, I will give him the benefit of the doubt. Let us hear the point of order. I am in a state of eager anticipation, with bated breath and beads of sweat on my brow, to hear what the right hon. Gentleman has got to say.

[Sir Desmond Swayne]

How can I get it on to the record that I am in fact the parliamentary species champion for the smooth snake and not the viper?

[Mr Speaker]

The right hon. Gentleman has achieved the early gratification that he sought, and I am sure that his observations will be of consuming interest, not least to scribblers.

Government Policy on the Proceedings of the House

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Tuesday 10th October 2017 Commons Chamber

[Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) (Con)]

I am one of the people as well, and I will conduct my voting in this Chamber entirely on the basis of my own opinion and my own conscience. I decide when and how I vote, not the Government, and on the occasion in question, I chose to deploy my vote accordingly. I was in agreement with the first motion, because the lead I tend to take from my Front Bench was in agreement with it. Why would I therefore choose to oppose it? On the second motion, although I was against the sentiments being expressed, it was clear to me that, in accordance with the statute, however I expressed my opinion, it would make no difference. That is the matter in a nutshell.

[Mr Speaker]

Order. I exercised some latitude for the right hon. Member for New Forest West (Sir Desmond Swayne), not least in light of his starring performance this morning, when he asked the most succinct question, but that was a mini-speech rather than an intervention. I simply take this opportunity to remind the House that the debate can last until three minutes past 6. The hon. Member for Perth and North Perthshire (Pete Wishart) has not taken up a great deal of time so far, so this is not directed specifically at him, but I simply make the point that if Members want to speak, they should try to help each other, and that means refraining from, dare I say it, lengthy or self-indulgent interventions.

Oral Answers to Questions

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Thursday 7th September 2017 Commons Chamber

[Mr Speaker]

I thought that the hon. Gentleman was about to refer to Ludwig von Mises, but no doubt that awaits another of his answers in due course.

[Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) (Con)]

I hope that the Minister still believes that no deal is better than a bad deal.

Scheduling of Parliamentary Business

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Monday 17th July 2017 Commons Chamber

[Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) (Con)]

The hon. Lady does not realise how lucky she is. When we were in opposition, we did not have the benefit of this Speaker in the Chair to call urgent questions with the frequency that he does now to the huge advantage of the House. We would have traded any number of Opposition days for the wisdom of the current Speaker—long may he remain in the Chair. By the time hon. Members actually get to an Opposition day debate, the Gallery is empty and the journalists have all pushed off having written their copy.

[Mr Speaker]

I am overcome with excitement. I am going to get very emotional in a moment. We are grateful to the right hon. Gentleman.

Adult Social Care Funding

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Thursday 6th July 2017 Commons Chamber

[Steve Brine]

Okay. The Prime Minister has been very clear about the importance of tackling this issue. As she said, we will look after 2 million more over-75s in the next 10 years and we have to find a sustainable way of caring for older people. As I have said, we will consult on detailed proposals, which will include a capital floor and an absolute limit on the amount people can be asked to pay. Our objective will be to get the widest possible consensus.

[Mr Speaker]

Whether the right hon. Gentleman regards that as a satisfactory answer is for him to decide, but it is the answer that he is getting.

[Sir Desmond Swayne]

It was.

[Mr Speaker]

In fact, he has got it.

Northern Ireland: Political Situation

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Monday 3rd July 2017 Commons Chamber

[Mr Speaker]

Order. There was a certain amount of harrumphing from a sedentary position at the continuation of the hon. Lady’s line of interrogation, but I can confirm, in defence of her, that she was fully 36 seconds within her time.

[Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) (Con)]

It’s the way she says it.

[Mr Speaker]

Order. That is a matter of stylistic objection—or even, on the part of the right hon. Gentleman, aesthetic objection—but it cannot be said to be a matter of order.

Oral Answers to Questions

Debate between Desmond Swayne and John Bercow

Tuesday 27th June 2017 Commons Chamber

[Mr Speaker]

Order. Single-sentence inquiries are now required.

[Sir Desmond Swayne (New Forest West) (Con)]

The Minister spoke of peer-to-peer exchanges of energy. I have no idea what they are, but given the enthusiasm she has brought to her brief I believe that we all deserve a tutorial. Could that be arranged?