Jack Rankin
Main Page: Jack Rankin (Conservative - Windsor)Department Debates - View all Jack Rankin's debates with the Department for Education
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Jack Rankin (Windsor) (Con)
It’s a pleasure to serve ’neath your chair’ship today,
And I hope you’ll forgive if today—just today—
I do not speak
In the usual way.
For today—yes, today!—is World Book Day, they say.
A day made for books and bright words at their play.
I thank my Honourable Friend with a cheer and a grin,
The Member for Dulwich and West Norwood—who let the debate on reading begin!
And today—yes, today!—on this most Bookish of days,
I won’t stick to the script in much-loved Erskine May.
No dry phrases today in the proper array—
I’ll try it instead in a Seussian way!
So today—yes, today!—we can happily spend
Time on good stories from beginning to end.
With a flip and a flourish, a swish and a sway,
For books are the best thing to brighten the day!
Here comes a test for my rhyming wordplay
For a brief jot in time while I quickly relay
The wisdom and pearls of Honourable Friends here today
I’ve made up on the spot in the Seussian way.
If it’s “Reading for fun and going all in”,
Grab that book off the shelf—take your mind off for a spin.
Each little child with a token and smile
Turns books into grammar, spelling and maths improved style.
From Strangford, we heard about Andy McNab
His strong love for reading shows in his gift of the gab
We thank all the libraries that open their doors
Not just to the building but lands on strange shores.
Like Isle of Wight West where Dickens and Tennyson called home
But not, to my knowledge, did Jerome K Jerome.
From Bracknell we heard about Fox Hill primary’s new library,
Something we want in every secondary and primary.
Glasgow West told of how Heidi inspired
As well as how books during conflict required
Too many speeches—I can’t do them all
But all of them wonderful in Westminster Hall.
I’m not quite yet done with my Dr-Seuss speech
There’s more—yes, some more—’fore the exits you reach.
For I haven’t yet shared my own greatest tale
Of two little boys from near Sunningdale.
A hop and a skip to the next village along
Are two little boys who love books, deep and strong.
The older loves space, rockets and sky
The littler one dinosaurs
who roar as they fly.
By accident or luck did it happen? It did not!
For many things quickly take the top spot!
Grown-ups are tired and they work all day through
So easy it is to forget what is true.
But the truth is that after another long day,
The thing I love most when I’m tired is say,
“Sit on my lap, boys. Rest your sleepy heads down,”
For a tale before bed will melt any frown.
It needn’t be complex or long as a Tolkien,
A Tolstoy or Dickens, James Joyce, and be hulking;
Few words here and there—what a difference they make
To children’s vocabularies and the brain cells they shake.
For Maths chaps like me who like numbers, not words
Books we still need for fractions like thirds
Whether green eggs and ham or bears from Peru,
Scientists can still marvel at brave Cindy Lou Who.
If kids 10 to 16 read for fun, not by force
They’ll get better jobs in the future workforce.
It has much more effect than if Mum or Dad went to uni,
So pick up that book and make your OWN dreams come true-ni!
When the Blue team were boss back in two thousand and twelve
Just 58% of six-year-olds reached the standards we delved
By the time we had gone
and up to the now,
The figure has soared to 80%
Wow—oh wow—wow!
Primary aged bookworms in England are best,
Now the best of the best—oh, yes—in the West.
Of Europe at least, and on this I don’t jest!
The best little readers of the rest in the West!
The Blue team are glad that the Red team agreed
In their Curriculum Review our reforms they still need
For phonics are king when it comes to learning
How to decode the letters and for stories yearning.
In the Lorax, Seuss taught us to love trees a lot
and said: “Unless someone likes you cares a whole awful lot,
nothing is going to get better.
It’s not.”
So now comes the time for my ask of the Reds.
Don’t worry or wobble—there’s nothing to dread.
For many of them are already decided.
With parents they agree and with their views they’ve sided.
For now is the time to ban phones from school proper.
Guidance alone means schools still come a cropper.
Despite their best efforts, it’s hard to stop-per.
So come on now Red team—stop delaying and do!
And while we’re at it,
ban social media for under-16s too.
There’s votes just next week; it isn’t too late
To do the right thing ’stead of making us wait.
I thank Honourable Friends for their patience and time.
I’ve enjoyed all the speeches, although none others rhymed.
But isn’t that the wonder of novels and stories
It matter not whether Lib Dem, Labour or Tories—
There’s one thing on which we can all agree
On World Book Day we can be one and not three!
I sincerely hope that was not AI-generated; it was a very special effort. Follow that, Minister!