International Men’s Day

Dawn Butler Excerpts

Thursday 21st November 2024 Commons Chamber

[Dawn Butler (Brent East) (Lab)]

I congratulate my hon. Friend the Member for Bishop Auckland (Sam Rushworth) on securing the debate. Madam Deputy Speaker, where is everybody? Nobody is on the Conservative Benches, besides the Opposition Whip. I am surprised to see empty Benches on the Conservative side of the House. I am sure the shadow Secretary of State, the hon. Member for East Grinstead and Uckfield (Mims Davies), will give a great speech, but she should not have to hold it all down by herself.

International Men’s Day started in 1992 in Trinidad and Tobago, and we started debating International Men’s Day in the House in 2015. I thought it was important to attend today, because it is not a competition. I always attend the International Women’s Day debate, and my fighting for the rights of women does not in any way negate my fighting for the rights of men. It is important that we campaign, so it would have been nice to see more people in the Chamber. I get a lot of misogynistic abuse online from people who say, “Why don’t we have an International Men’s Day?” Well, we are having an International Men’s Day debate, and the House is not full.

This is a great time to talk about the many men’s charities that do amazing work. In my Brent East constituency, we have BoyztoMEN, Moving on Up, 100 Black Men of London, Men United, Making the Leap and the Social Wellness Club. We also have a lot of barbers who do lots of great work. The men and boys who go for haircuts are encouraged to talk and have debates. They are not always great debates—I am not saying that they always make sense—but customers are encouraged to talk and share. There is a particularly good barber shop in Brent called Faisal Barbers. It teaches the young men things such as timekeeping; they have to arrive on time or they cannot get their hair cut. All those kinds of soft skills are important in later life. I like to highlight that shop because even during the pandemic it had debates about covid, keeping safe and getting the vaccination. That was important.

As my hon. Friend the Member for Bishop Auckland said, there is a growing range of charities, including Men’s Sheds, Andy’s Man Club, Prostate Cancer UK, which is doing a lot of work, Harry’s Hikes, WalKing Men and many more. It is important to encourage those organisations. This year, there are three key themes for International Men’s Day: making a positive difference to wellbeing and lives, raising awareness of and funds for charities supporting men and boy’s wellbeing, and promoting a positive conversation about men, manhood and masculinity.

My hon. Friend mentioned manhood and masculinity. I will talk more about that today. We know that a lot of the way in which society runs is centred on men—from how clothes are made for emergency service workers, to language—so it stands to reason that, for equity purposes, there has to be more of a focus on women. However, as I said, that does not come at the exclusion of men. Being a man is not about being strong and silent—that is very old thinking. We need to encourage more men to speak up and speak out. When it comes to health, 12,000 men die of prostate cancer every year—one every 45 minutes—one in five UK men do not live to the age of 65, and 14 men die by suicide every day. That is an alarming number; there is a continued crisis in male suicide, which is the leading cause of death for men under 50.

I believe that there is a direct correlation between the increase in mental ill health among men and the growth in the number of involuntary celibates, or incels. That growing and worrying underground movement of young men is defined by a misogyny that believes that men have lost the genetic lottery and are destined to fail with women. Incels are often poorly educated boys and men, and they justify violence against women via their ideological stances. It is important that we tackle that crisis head-on and send a strong message from this House that incels are not in any way a good representation of a good man.

Women are not the enemy. One woman is killed every three days by a man, so we need men to speak up and speak out. We need men to be louder than the toxic men on social media who have huge platforms. We need men to speak louder than the men with power, the men in power and some of the men who are soon to get power. We have a lot of work to do. Some 20% of incels contemplate suicide every day. There are well-documented terrorist attacks and mass killings by incels. International Men’s Day is important for everyone. The world will be safer if we all work together to respect each other and make sure that we are all kept safe.

I will end with a quote by Alex Karras, who said:

“It takes more courage to reveal insecurities than to hide them, more strength to relate to people than to dominate them, more ‘manhood’ to abide by thought-out principles rather than blind reflex. Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles and an immature mind.”

--- Later in debate ---

[Alex Sobel (Leeds Central and Headingley) (Lab/Co-op)]

I thank my hon. Friend the Member for Bishop Auckland (Sam Rushworth) for securing this important debate. As we know, International Men’s Day was on Tuesday. My hon. Friend the Member for Leyton and Wanstead (Mr Bailey) talked about his service and the horrors of war, and Tuesday also marked 1,000 days since the Russian invasion of Ukraine. I want to put on record my thanks to all the men serving on the frontline in Ukraine, and to those who have been injured or lost their lives in that awful conflict.

Many important men’s issues have been raised, and I am in agreement with much of the sentiment of the debate, particularly on the issues of health and the dangers of social media platforms. However, this debate should be inclusive of all men, and I want to affirm that trans men are men. I would like to commemorate the Transgender Day of Remembrance, which was yesterday, which is an opportunity for us to honour those murdered as a result of transphobia and the many more who have died by suicide. This includes many trans men, and the issues we have heard debated today, including mental health and suicide, are experienced by trans men.

[Dawn Butler]

Does my hon. Friend agree that trans men are often missed out of the trans debate, that they are also subjected to some really cruel behaviour and often suffer violence, such as rape, and that that is under- reported?