Valedictory Debate

Bob Stewart Excerpts

Friday 24th May 2024 Commons Chamber

[Robert Halfon (Harlow) (Con)]

As I was watching this debate, sitting in this beautiful Chamber, I was thinking of my constituency of Harlow. Not so long ago, I was campaigning outside a Lidl supermarket, which I did regularly, handing out leaflets. One time—this is genuinely a true story—a lady came up to me and said that my leaflet had come through her letterbox that very morning. She said how handsome I looked, but followed that up by saying, “You look bloody awful in real life.” I tell that story not just because it is true, but because, however wonderful this place is and however incredible it is to be an MP, our constituents, especially in a place like Harlow, bring us back down to Earth with a bump.

That is very good for us, because we go back to our constituencies and do our community days every Friday and Saturday, and often on Sundays, and our constituents tell us what is going on. Almost every Saturday, I go to a wonderful sandwich café serving incredible coffee in the centre of the town, and my goodness, the constituents in that café tell me what is what. They tell me what is really going on, whether it is someone whose child cannot get special educational needs support or somebody who cannot get a house, or whatever it may be.

[Bob Stewart (Beckenham) (Con)]

I was driving through Harlow one day, and to my shock, I suddenly saw my right hon. Friend sitting by the dual carriageway under a bloody great big sign reading “Vote Halfon”. You could not miss him, and I thought, “My God, there’s someone who knows how to campaign.”

[Robert Halfon]

I thank my right hon. Friend—my truly honourable Friend—for his intervention. It is true; it is going to be a strange election. I have done six from 2001 onwards, including in 2005 when I lost by 97 votes, and at every single election I have stood by the roadside with a massive sign, usually “Please cut fuel duty”, from 6.30 am to 9 am or from 4 pm to 7 pm, waving at all the cars. One time, there was a van that used to pass every day, and they used to scream obscenities at me. They even brought an inflatable “up yours” sign to wave at me, and a few days before polling day, they threw a mild water bomb at me—just a balloon; it was fine. On the last day, on polling day, with this having gone on for almost six weeks, they got out of the van. I was thinking, “Oh my goodness, what are they going to do to me?” They slapped me on the back and said, “Good on you, mate. We’re voting Conservative.”

As I have said, Parliament is an incredible place. An Essex MP came to my school, although I was brought up in north London, and said that the Houses of Parliament had over 1,000 rooms. I demanded to go and see those 1,000 rooms—I had to see every single one of them—and I came here on a tour, but sadly I did not see all 1,000 rooms. To this very day, I still have not seen all 1,000 rooms, but I decided on that day, at 10 years old, that I would be a Member of Parliament, because I thought this Parliament was so beautiful. I thought Central Lobby was so incredible. I loved history, and every single one of us in Parliament is part of living history.

I wanted to be in Parliament for another reason. Although I very rarely talked about it, because I did not want to be known as a disabled MP, when I was a child I could not walk. I used to walk on tiptoe—perhaps I should have gone into ballet at Covent Garden—and I was told that I would never be able to walk. I was told that I should go to a special school; the doctors wrote to my father saying so, and I remember seeing the letters, even at a young age. Then my father found this incredible professor at Great Ormond Street Hospital who understood what was going on, and I had operations throughout my childhood, right through to adult life.

What is being an MP about? It is about giving public service, looking after your constituents and serving the public. Professor Lloyd-Roberts at Great Ormond Street Hospital, the person who started it off, was the man who changed my life, and I felt that being an MP was my chance to help change other people’s lives for the better. I should say that I was in another hospital and then moved to a nursing home, and none other than Nadine Dorries, the former MP for Mid Bedfordshire, was a nurse while I was in that hospital—so she tells me, and I think I sort of remember it. She is perhaps the only MP who has seen me in my birthday suit—less “The Plot”, more the pot, as it might be.

As an MP, you do things for your constituency and you also champion causes, and as my right hon. Friend the Member for Wyre and Preston North (Mr Wallace) said, you sometimes have a chance to govern. When I came in, I wanted to do three things: the first was to build an even better Harlow, and the second was to champion the cost of living. We think a lot about the cost of living now, but the cost of living in constituencies such as mine has always been tough. I have constituents where often, one partner works in the day and the other works in the evening, and people say to me, “We work for 48 hours and still find it hard to keep our heads above water.”

I started the fuel duty campaign because my local McDonald’s had started charging for parking if people stayed beyond a certain time. I asked the franchise owner why he was doing this, and he said, “People are parking overnight because they can’t afford to drive back home.” People were parking overnight and sleeping in their car because they could not afford the cost of fuel, which I realised was the central issue. It was also why, as a Conservative, I campaigned for the living wage. I was proud to attend Cabinet when George Osborne, the then Chancellor, announced it.

I was also proud to be George Osborne’s Parliamentary Private Secretary. PPSs are usually known as “bag carriers” but, because of my legs, the Chancellor sometimes helped me to carry my briefcase, so I think I was the first PPS in history whose bag was carried by the Secretary of State, rather than the other way around.

The other most important issue to me has been championing apprenticeships and skills. Way back in 2008, when I was a parliamentary candidate, I went into a building in my constituency and met some young kids who were being looked after by the Prince’s Trust, which is an amazing organisation that I love with every fibre of my body, and Catch22. They talked about apprenticeships, and about wanting to do skills, but there were no offerings for them. These kids were from very disadvantaged backgrounds, and I said to myself on that day that, if I were elected to Parliament, I would champion apprenticeships and skills. My first speech in the House of Commons was about trying to get more schools to encourage their children, pupils and students to do apprenticeships, as well as go to university, by transforming careers advice in our schools so that people understand the apprenticeship offering.

I am very proud of what this Government have done. We often talk about successes in education and reading, but I am very proud of what this Government have done on skills. I believe that history will show huge apprenticeship reforms. People can now do an apprenticeship in everything from aeronautics to zoology.

Degree apprenticeships were introduced by my right hon. Friend the Member for West Suffolk (Matt Hancock), and there have now been more than 200,000 degree apprentices. People can take one in every subject, and they are now regarded with prestige. Our T-levels are prestigious vocational qualifications. We have more than 20 institutes of technology teaching prestigious tertiary education. I love Harlow College, which I have visited more than 110 times since becoming a Member of Parliament, because the college, the staff and students have taught me everything I know. They helped me along the way when I was championing apprentices.

I was twice the Minister for Skills, Apprenticeships and, latterly, Higher Education, for which I am hugely grateful to the Prime Minister. It was a huge moment for me, because Select Committee Chairs and Back Benchers can campaign, and I got apprenticeships for prisoners and more careers advice for students in schools through, but Ministers can make policy. It is an incredible honour to be able to do that, and some of our reforms over the past couple of years, such as the lifelong learning entitlement, which will revolutionise adult learning, the improved apprenticeship levy and the £2.7 billion being spent on apprenticeships by 2025 will make a huge difference.

We stand up and get the credit for all these things, but I could not have done one thing without—without—

--- Later in debate ---

[Bob Stewart (Beckenham) (Ind)]

I am very sorry to have to follow such a speech, and I feel sympathy.

It has been a real privilege for me to be here. Fourteen years have gone like a flash. In my 28 years in the Army, I never thought for a moment that I would come to this place. After all, most of the rank and file in the Army view politicians with deep suspicion. When, a few years after I had left the Army, I told my Army colleagues that I was trying to be a Conservative MP, they accused me of having smoked dope. In truth, for 14 years I have felt that I have still been in metaphorical uniform. All of us are in metaphorical uniform, because every single Member of this place serves their country. They may not wear a uniform but, my goodness, they could easily do so.

I have never sought advancement; I like the Back Benches. I never wanted advancement. I told this to David Cameron when he was Prime Minister, and he said, “You won’t get it either.” I have made my share of mistakes in this place. [Hon. Members: “No!”] I will mention one malapropism. I once intervened on my hon. Friend the Member for Tewkesbury (Mr Robertson) and stood up to say, “I would like to thank my hon. Friend,” but what I actually said was, “I would like to spank my hon. Friend”. I then corrected the mistake. Hansard very kindly suggested that they could amend their transcript, but I said, “By no means do that. It’s far too good.” If they remember me for anything, it is for spanking the hon. Member for Tewkesbury.

May I end by thanking colleagues for putting up with me? [Hon. Members: “No!”] I have made some pretty decent friends, considering they are not in the Army. I like the staff. I particularly like the Doorkeepers, many of whom are ex-military. I thank my office staff, particularly Dr Reza Tabrizi and Neil Cropper. I also thank my wife, Claire Podbielski, for putting up with me for 30 years so far. After all, she has given us four children. [Interruption.] I think that should stand, whatever it was—I am sure it was very rude. I would like to thank my wife for bearing four children: Julie, Delphine, Ophélie and Xavier. I have to say that at least two of them are inn the military. Hooray!

Old soldiers are not meant to die. Apparently, they just fade away. Well, to hell with that—I do not want to fade too quickly. Thank you, Mr Deputy Speaker.

[Mr Deputy Speaker]

Thank you, Colonel Bob. You have been a true and absolute friend ever since I have known you, and you went beyond in helping me in my greatest time of need. I love you, Bob.