LGBT+ People and Spouses: Social Care

Rachael Maskell Excerpts

Tuesday 12th September 2023 Westminster Hall

[Rachael Maskell (York Central) (Lab/Co-op)]

It is a pleasure to serve under you in the Chair, Sir Robert. I pay tribute to my hon. Friend the Member for Dulwich and West Norwood (Helen Hayes) for her powerful advocacy for both Ted and Noel. It was shocking and very difficult listening, and she was eloquent and forceful in making the case to support LGBT people in social care.

I am grateful for the work of York LGBT Forum. It has tirelessly campaigned for the rights of LGBTQ people across the community. It engages with stakeholders to advance the rights of LGBT people across the city and the region. As part of its “Free to be Me” work in social care, the forum is hosting a seminar this coming Friday entitled “Don’t Leave Me in Silence” reflecting on the experiences of people in social care. I spoke to one member last weekend and she talked through the work she had engaged with, and it echoed the inquiry the all-party parliamentary group for ageing and older people, of which I am chair, undertook a few years ago, which recognised the importance of identifying the social care needs of LGBT+ people and their partners.

In the session, which was held in Parliament, we heard how partners were often ignored in social care settings, not least when determining the wishes of their loved ones in care. We heard how, on so many occasions, they were unable to communicate the needs of their relationships before they entered care—instead becoming a distant friend. People in care often felt that they could not even put a picture of their partner up in their room, almost eradicating the memory of their relationship. We heard the distress, the loss of identity and how they felt shame, not to mention their facing some pretty intrusive questioning, too.

With good social care, this should not be an issue. On entering a care setting, a relationship should be established that takes all the needs of individuals into account. It does not take much to ask what someone’s requirements are and who their family is, and to ensure that their family is honoured. It is a central part of care. It is what care is: recognising the human, not just the physical, needs that someone has. It does not take much to ask, and it does not cost much to train staff.

LGBT+ awareness training would significantly enhance the experience of LGBT people in care. The CQC should monitor the training that staff have, and the Skills for Care workforce, which has set out a learning framework, should review that framework, not least in the light of today’s debate, and ensure that it is rolled out to all care settings. It should be a marker that the CQC looks for when examining care settings.

Recently, I talked to a constituent who was still at home and seriously ill. She knew that in the not-too-distant future her time would come for more intense care. She asked that she would be in a setting that recognised her gender identity; she feared being placed in one that would recognise only her birth identity. Such dying wishes must be honoured. That is about respect for the individual and understanding their care needs. It is about ensuring that they are cared for holistically and that they and their families are given the time, care and support that they need. It is about listening; it is about acting. I heard one story about someone who started to be dressed in the clothing that represented their birth gender identity, because no one had taken the time to listen. That cannot be a matter for a care facility to determine; it is a matter for the individual and their family.

This debate has focused on the family, but it is worth remembering that many LGBT+ people may not have family. The chair of York’s Ageing Well Without Children, or AWOC, Sue Lister, has explored what it means for individuals who might not have family at all, or whose partner has passed. She wrote a poem, which I would like to close with today. It is called “Lesbian Loneliness”. It is written about a care setting:

“Magnolia walls house the non-absorbent thrones.

Dry voices whisper round the walls like leaves that fall unnoticed.

Uniformed bursts of energy swirl according to the clock

Bringing this, taking that.

Weathered skin, brittle bones, ghosts of the past

Gather on these barren shores.

My life, my love, has passed away, leaving me hung upon the thorns of grief in a waste of loneliness.

Unspoken. Living too long in the shadow of social shame

I dare not rock the boat and she is buried forever.

‘My love’ I cry in the dark hours and hold her in my heart

By day I pass as an ordinary old woman.”