International Men’s Day

Jerome Mayhew Excerpts

Thursday 21st November 2024 Commons Chamber

[Jerome Mayhew (Broadland and Fakenham) (Con)]

I rise to balance the Benches and stand up for men—Members on the Government Benches cannot have it all their own way. Hon. Members may not be wholly surprised to know that I did not originally intend to make a speech in this debate, but I will add a short one in support of the community sheds and men’s sheds in my constituency of Broadland and Fakenham. I most recently visited the Aylsham men’s shed, about two weeks ago, which welcomes women as well as men.

I have been very interested to hear some of the comments made by hon. and right hon. Members this afternoon, and I have learned a lot. This debate has helped me to reflect on what it means to be a man. I stand before you, Madam Deputy Speaker, comfortable in my cardigan. That is one form of manhood, but that is probably stretching it a little. Slightly more seriously, I look at my relationships with my wider friendship group and compare them with those of my wife, who is brilliant at communicating and at the small acts of kindness and connection that go into making a personal community as well as a corporate community—a community around the village and school relationships.

Compare me with my wife, and I am found wholly wanting; I fit all the stereotypes. Why use a sentence when a single word will do to communicate? Why pick up with old friends when I can ignore them for a few more years? That is fine when things are going well, but as men we are too often found bereft of support when things go badly. Heaven forbid, if my wife were to fall under a bus, I would be devastated—she is the best thing that has ever happened to me—and the community support that I take for granted because of her involvement in my life and my family would be removed. All too often, men are left exposed. I do not quite know why it is, but we seem to be less good at and less prepared to focus on and invest time in the soft relationships that go into making that cobweb and network of community touchpoints that makes us strong. It makes us be here for each other.

I have learned a lot in this debate; I am very grateful to the Backbench Business Committee and to the hon. Member for Bishop Auckland (Sam Rushworth) for organising it. I have already name-checked the Aylsham community shed, but I will finish by name-checking the Brundall men’s shed, which I have visited a couple of times. It is easy to think that these organisations tend to be used by men who are my age and above, but actually they welcome young men and men of all ages. One of their great strengths is that they not only bring men together, but start challenging some of the age exclusions that we have too often in our communities and bring people of whatever age into a comfortable, welcoming and friendly environment. That is exactly what it is about —whenever I go to a men’s shed or a community shed, I feel welcome. It feels like a comfortable environment where we are accepted for who we are and what we can bring.

The sheds are a wonderful series of organisations. One of their strengths is that they do not rely on the state for funding; they are community organisations that have come up from below and support themselves in both their direction and funding. However, there is one area in which they really rely on the community, which is quite difficult in some circumstances, and that is in the provision of accommodation. The Aylsham community shed is in a shared space in the high school, which is great but brings challenges, because it has to pack everything away at 3 pm. The Brundall men’s shed is in an extra part of a boat shed, which again means that it is forever reliant on the good will of the wider community. While that good will is there, the organisations can flourish. If I have one message for the wider community, it is to support men’s sheds, provide them with space and get behind them.