Laura Kyrke-Smith
Main Page: Laura Kyrke-Smith (Labour - Aylesbury)Department Debates - View all Laura Kyrke-Smith's debates with the Ministry of Justice
(2 days, 13 hours ago)
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Laura Kyrke-Smith (Aylesbury) (Lab)
It is a pleasure to serve under your chairship, Dame Siobhain. I thank my hon. Friends the Members for Tamworth (Sarah Edwards) and for Morecambe and Lunesdale (Lizzi Collinge), as well as the hon. Member for Henley and Thame (Freddie van Mierlo), for securing the debate.
It is a timely debate for me, as it was exactly this week 11 years ago that I had my humanist wedding. It was one of the most wonderful days of my life—my husband and I, surrounded by family and friends, on a beautiful, windswept and, fortunately, sunny beach in Devon, marking and celebrating our decision to spend our lives together. I had not really heard of a humanist wedding before I started planning one, but once we realised the constraints of a civil ceremony—the limits on readings, songs, numbers of guests and locations—we quickly decided that we wanted something else: a celebration of not just our formal commitment, but our beliefs and values.
Personally, although I have every respect for people of all faiths and none, it is through humanist values that I try to make sense of the world. For me, this is the one life that I have, and I try to live in the here and now, making decisions on what I feel and see that are based on logic, reason and evidence, and rooted in compassion, dignity and respect for other people. Because my husband sees the world in the same way, a humanist wedding was the right choice for us.
I pay tribute to our incredible humanist celebrant, David Pack, who sadly passed away a few years ago, but will forever remain a central part of our special day. He helped us to create a ceremony that spoke to our values, and I want to borrow his words about why humanist weddings are so important. He said:
“A lot of couples say they find it hypocritical to make promises before a god they don’t believe in…As humanists we believe that we can find a way of living and behaving decently without needing reference to any divine authority, drawing on our own human qualities: reason, emotion, experience and empathy”.
That is what a humanist wedding enables a couple to express at that key moment in their lives. We had wonderful feedback from our guests, many of whom had never been to a humanist wedding before but found it to be a very open, inclusive and moving ceremony, from the songs to the vows and the readings, many of which we had written together.
Although I could happily be sucked into reminiscing about my wedding, I will turn to the point of today’s debate. For me, that starts with the fact that, although this week is the time we celebrate our wedding anniversary each year, it is not in fact my official wedding anniversary, which comes at the end of May, marking the date that we went to an unremarkable registry office in London to do the official bit. We felt somewhat resentful at the time, and still do to this day, because it came with extra costs, extra admin and that niggling sense that the wedding we had invited everyone to a few weeks later was somehow not the real deal. That is why I am so pleased that this debate is happening, and I am so pleased to speak in support of the legal recognition of humanist marriages.
I want humanist couples to be able to marry with a British Humanist Association celebrant of their choosing, and for this to have the same status in law as any other wedding. We have heard from others about how possible this is; I understand that the law can be changed quite quickly and easily by laying down the order under the Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Act 2013. No further legislative work is needed. I am so proud that Labour has long supported this. It would strip away legal risks, as we heard from my right hon. Friend the Member for Oxford East (Anneliese Dodds), and it would be free. It would also be popular, as we have heard. I hope that after today’s debate we can just get on with it.
Legalising humanist marriage would have a transformative impact for humanist couples across the country, stripping away the awkwardness, inconvenience, cost and injustice of needing both an official ceremony and a moment of celebration. It would enable humanists to make their wedding day what it should be: the celebration of their commitment to each other, in line with their beliefs and values, and the legal recognition of that union once and for all.