Bereaved Children: Registry

Jim Shannon Excerpts

Tuesday 28th March 2023 Westminster Hall

[Jim Shannon (Strangford) (DUP)]

Thank you, Sir Gary, for giving me the chance to speak in the debate. I am very pleased to serve under your chairmanship.

I thank the hon. Member for Edinburgh West (Christine Jardine) for raising this issue. She did the House proud in the compassionate way that she introduced the debate. I am grateful for the spirit behind the debate, which she showed, and I am thankful that she has chosen to use her own familial pain so openly to help others. She is very much deserving of our respect and gratitude.

The topic of the debate is very emotional—we all know that; it is hard not to be moved by it—and sensitive. I discussed with Naomi, my assistant, our approach to the research for this debate. I know that I keep her busy when it comes to speeches in Westminster Hall and elsewhere, but do we talk the matters through, because we like to be able to bring a local angle—a Northern Ireland angle—to debates. I will do so today by giving an example that we are aware of, which will hopefully add to the hon. Lady’s introduction and to the contributions by the Members who will follow me.

Naomi raised the very real and raw scenario of a little girl who comes to her children’s church. That little girl happens to be eight years old, the same age as the hon. Lady said her sister was, and her grandfather brings her to church on a Sunday. She is only eight, but her daddy was murdered by paramilitaries. She came back to children’s church a few weeks later. Outwardly, she appeared to be the same happy child for the most part. However, during the prayer time, she asked for prayers for her granny, who is always so sad. The little one lost her daddy in dreadful circumstances and yet is also carrying the burden of worrying over her granny, who is sad.

Of course the leaders in the church are sensitive to the wee girl, yet it is clear that, although they can and do pour in love, she needs more help. What is not clear is how to get her that help. Referrals to child and adolescent mental health services in Northern Ireland rose from 8,719 in 2020-21 to 10,675 in 2021-22—a 25% increase—yet capacity has not increased at all. Will we put this little one on the waiting list, with a nine-month wait to be seen initially? How do we provide a link to help for this little girl who is grieving, and watching her granny grieve, and who just wants her family to be happy again?

We all need to think about that question, as it affects us all in each constituency in the United Kingdom. It has been estimated that around 26,900 parents die each year in the UK, leaving dependent children. That is one parent every 20 minutes. By the age of 16, 4.7%— around one in 20—young people will have experienced the death of one or both of their parents.

The Childhood Bereavement Network has come very succinctly to the crux of the issue, saying:

“No-one knows exactly how many children are bereaved each year. Data is collected each year on the number of children affected by the divorce of their parents, but not on the number affected by the death of a parent.”

As I say, I think that is the crux of the matter. The Childhood Bereavement Network continued:

“This information is urgently needed, to plan for service development and to make more sense of research on the impact of bereavement on children’s lives.”

The hon. Member for Edinburgh West made that point very clearly, and I make it too.

I look to the Minister for a response. I do not think that it is impossible to collect the data and try to help. If we do not know who and where these children are, how can we get them the help and support that they so desperately need? The answer is that we cannot. I have a request for the Minister. I know that she is a lady of compassion; we are all compassionate in this House, and we all bring our own individual stories to this Chamber. I ask the Minister very respectfully and gracefully to take our request on board, if she can, because these are things that we should be doing and we need to do.

The surviving parent or relation can take the step of asking the school. The school can ask the parent if they have spoken to a GP. The GP can ask if the school is providing counselling. But the fact is that none of those bodies has a duty to do those things. My fear is that children like the little one I have mentioned are simply lost in their grief if they are not acting out and drawing attention. In other words, we may not see the pain of that wee eight-year-old and others—the hon. Member for Edinburgh West referred to her sisters. We may believe that they are good and must be handling it all okay, but very often that is not the case.

Any child that is grieving needs to be given support without having to ask for it. That is why I thank the hon. Lady for her speech, offer my support and ask the Minister to make the change so that we have a registry and the automatic action that should come with that. I know the grief that I felt as a grown man over the death of my father. Life gave me that experience when I was much older, allowing me to acknowledge and deal with the pain in a healthy manner. Some of these children have no chance when it comes to that process, and that is why I believe help must be offered.

Again, I ask the Minister to do what I know she still wants to do, and what I believe she will do: to start off the support process with a registry of bereaved children. I support the hon. Member for Edinburgh West and sincerely thank her for bringing this issue to our attention. I look to the Minister to reach out and help bereaved children, who we all know really need that extra little bit of help. I know that families and friends are there in most cases, but sometimes we need to reach deeper; on many occasions, more is needed. Will the Minister respond in the positive fashion that I believe we all want her to?