International Men’s Day

Dean Russell Excerpts

Thursday 17th November 2022 Commons Chamber

[Dean Russell (Watford) (Con)]

I also thank my hon. Friend the Member for Don Valley (Nick Fletcher) for his work in securing the debate. I must say that I am a little disappointed. I would have hoped that, on a debate about half the nation, the Benches would have been it bit more full. Perhaps that is a sign of what the challenge is, because when we talk about men’s issues, we often do not talk about men’s issues. I am afraid that in a debate where we should be celebrating all the immense impacts of men across society, my speech, like others’, will focus on mental health and suicide and how we should be talking more and encouraging men to talk more about the challenges they face. Men contribute so much to society. I wish I was here with full Benches talking about the immense impact that men have for good in our society, just as we would if this were International Women’s Day and we were rightly celebrating the impact of women on us all.

I want to start with a point I have mentioned many times in this place, which is about mental health and the need for greater support. I had a 10-minute rule Bill, which I will try to bring back at some point, which aimed to ensure that mental health first aid awareness is part of physical first aid in the workplace. One challenge is that people, men in particular, do not know how to talk about issues they might be facing. They do not have to wait until the worst time, when it is affecting them in a way that is visible; they should be able to talk at an earlier stage about the challenges they might be facing.

One part of the challenge we have in society is the idea that men are supposed to be all strong. The hon. Member for Rutherglen and Hamilton West (Margaret Ferrier) mentioned the idea of the physical nature that men had to have—the Arnold Schwarzeneggers and the Sylvester Stallones that I grew up with in the 1980s. Ultimately, men had to be strong and not show weakness. As a man it was weak to show weakness. Actually, I say the opposite: that to show a weakness, to talk about a weakness and to ask for help is the greatest strength to have. The challenge for many is that they are not asking and are not looking for support, because they do not always know where to go for it. They do not know who they can trust, who will not mock them or ask them questions about things they do not feel comfortable talking about.

That has been exacerbated—this was mentioned earlier—by social media. Andy Warhol said that in the future everyone would have 15 minutes of fame. I say, sadly, it is now 15 minutes of shame. When you raise a concern, you get mocked for it. If you are not popular, then that is somehow a reason why people can attack you. They can say horrid things to you and move on to the next person. We see it in politics. I call it sniper politics: the idea that you take out one individual, whether a politician, a celebrity or someone in the community, with a hate pile-on. People are vile to a person in the moment and then move on to the next victim and the next victim. Is it any wonder, then, that men and women—in the context of this debate, men in particular—feel awkward raising concerns and talking to their friends in a way that might be shared or laughed at?

It does not have to be that way. There are a lot of opportunities for men to take control of their lives by asking others to help them. One is by forming stronger networks and by having a society where we help each other and listen to each other. That is why debates like this are so important and why I applaud my hon. Friend the Member for Don Valley, especially after the pile-on he experienced last year for making comments in this place. From being attacked in such a way, he has come back today, in a place that could have been quite vulnerable and open to attack, to say, “No, I do believe in this. This is a strong place to be in.” That is a strength.

Sometimes it is hard to go against the grain. Sometimes it is hard to talk about issues that others do not always agree with. That is why this place is so important. That is why I would have loved the Benches to be full of people talking about the challenges they face. We are, ultimately, whether people like us or not, role models. Within society, we have to look at how role models play a part, whether they are teachers in schools, sports people, doctors, or a nurse down the road working at a care home. All those people, across society, are people that young kids, boys and girls, can look up to and see a career option. That can break down barriers. When people think of nurses, they should think of men and women. When they think of care home workers, they should think of men and women. They should not just think of a particular type of role for a particular type of person.

We can also think about places such as gyms. In my Watford constituency, I visited NRG gym recently and I have visited one called CageFit. I heard amazing stories of people who do mixed martial arts fighting. Thankfully, I did not get in the ring—I do not think I would have fared too well—but people talked about the impact of going to such gyms. One of the gentlemen I was chatting to said that once people learn that they can fight in the ring for money, they do not want to fight on the streets for free. That was really about antisocial behaviour and kids in certain areas or in difficult circumstances perhaps being encouraged to join gangs. By joining a gym, they can be around other positive role models and learn that they have value in other ways, through their physique or mental capacity.

[Dr Luke Evans]

My hon. Friend has hit on something: we should not be shy of masculinity. It is about how to use that in a positive way, whether we are talking about sport, going to the gym or being a father figure. That is really important and if we try to close that down, it closes status, and that results in bad mental health. Does he support that philosophy after what he saw in his gym?

[Dean Russell]

Absolutely, and I thank my hon. Friend for the work that he does, especially on physical attributes and ensuring that people do not feel that they should be attacked online because of their body image. I agree—this is not only about surrounding oneself with role models, but about someone feeling as though they can be the best version of themselves. We often see that challenge. We are potentially creating a society, partly through online media, that shapes people to be something that they are not. They can use digital tools to change the way that they look online, but they then compare themselves in the mirror to that unrealistic ideal.

[Miriam Cates (Penistone and Stocksbridge) (Con)]

My hon. Friend is making an excellent speech. He is talking about the negative impact of social media and pile-ons online, and so on. Does he agree that the more time that boys, in particular, spend online, the less time they spend offline in the physical presence of other young men and boys, doing things like climbing trees, taking appropriate risks, and doing things that will improve their mental and physical health much more than they will sitting in their bedroom alone on the internet?

[Dean Russell]

My hon. Friend makes an important point; she understands this area very well and has done incredible work in this space. I agree 100%—there is, of course, a place for digital, social media and the internet, but if that becomes the world in which someone exists, that has to be a bad thing. Girls climb trees, too, and boys can climb trees with girls, but this is about going out into the real world and spending real time with real people, learning social cues and understanding the challenges that one faces. People can learn about rejection in the real world and in the virtual world, but they learn how to deal with it with friends and by talking about that.

To come back to a point that I made in my maiden speech, I often use an acronym HOPE, which stands for Help One Person Everyday. Sometimes that one person has to be ourselves. We sometimes have to be able to say, “Look, I need to go to speak to somebody about how I’m feeling. I need to go to the pub on a Friday night and have a laugh with my friends. I need to chat about stuff that has been challenging me or issues that I have and not feel like I have to keep all that inside.”

I will start to conclude, Madam Deputy Speaker—I am conscious that there will not be many more speeches, but I will not speak for the full hour that we have left, although you know that I probably could. I want to mention a couple of important points about suicide, which has been discussed. Men are invariably more likely to take their lives than women. That is a saddening statistic and it is the same around the world. In the UK, we have to try to stop this. It is not just about speaking to people, but about making sure that the network exists. Also, for those who have gone through that process and have, sadly, got to the point of perhaps trying to take their lives, it is about making sure that they have long-term support. I ask the Minister to make sure that we have the mental health support for young people and everyone alike, so that people have long-term support to get through the challenging times. I visited the Samaritans in Watford recently, and found that they do incredible work in ensuring that they are at the end of the telephone line for somebody—and, of course, there is anonymity to ensure that they are supported.

I am particularly proud of the fact that this is one of Hertfordshire County Council’s top priorities. It wants to create a county that is suicide-free, and I want to create a country that is suicide-free, but we can only do that by talking about it. We can only do it if each one of us, in each of our constituencies, says that we need to make this a top priority. We need to save lives, we need to change lives, and we need to make sure that the next generation knows this is important.

Let me end by repeating a statement that I made last time I spoke on International Men’s Day. I want to remind everyone who is watching the debate that they should ask others if they are OK—not just once, not just twice, but every time they see them. They should also ask themselves, “Am I really OK?” By doing that, we can ensure that we have a society that cares and people can be signposted to the help that they need, but also ensure that we really do deliver a compassionate country that saves lives, changes lives, and gives people the ability to be the best that they can be.

--- Later in debate ---

[The Parliamentary Under-Secretary of State for Health and Social Care (Maria Caulfield)]

I am very pleased to be able to join this year’s debate to celebrate International Men’s Day. I thank the Backbench Business Committee for granting this debate so that we can join 80 countries around the world in marking this day.

I thank my hon. Friend the Member for Don Valley (Nick Fletcher) not just for leading the debate, but for his consistent campaigning on the issues that affect men, and for his work as chair of the APPG on issues affecting men and boys, which continues to shine a spotlight on issues from mental health and wellbeing to boys’ education. As my hon. Friend the Member for Watford (Dean Russell) pointed out, it is disappointing that so few Labour and Lib Dem Members are in the Chamber, because they have missed a tremendous debate.

We heard from my hon. Friend the Member for Ynys Môn (Virginia Crosbie) about the tragic suicide of her brother. The hon. Member for Rutherglen and Hamilton West (Margaret Ferrier) spoke so well about the body-image issues that men face, which are rarely talked about enough. My hon. Friend the Member for Penistone and Stocksbridge (Miriam Cates) spoke about a multitude of issues that affect men, including in particular their roles and importance in family life, and pornography and how it affects young men.

My hon. Friend the Member for Watford made a moving speech on a range of issues, and I will start by addressing some of the points he made about suicide. It is tragic and unacceptable that, on average, 13 male suicides occur every day, and that suicide is the leading cause of death for men under 50. About 75% of all suicides are by men, so it is so important that we tackle the mental health issues that men face.

It is no surprise that after a number of years of tackling covid, which raised distress, anxiety and isolation over lockdown, as well as fears about jobs, before going straight into cost of living pressures, everyone—both men and women—has felt an impact on their mental health. However, we know that, for a variety of reasons, men are less likely to seek help. My hon. Friend the Member for Watford pointed out some of those reasons.

It is incumbent on all of us, across the House, to urge all men across our constituencies to reach out to the available support. In recent years, we have seen huge strides forward in the provision of support. We now have the Every Mind Matters campaign, which provides practical help and tips to improve our mental wellbeing. The NHS website supporting Every Mind Matters is easy to access and provides a range of tools that men can use themselves.

Importantly, we now have self-referral to talking therapies, so that men and women—but particularly men who are reluctant to seek help—no longer have to see their GP to get a referral. More than 1 million people have accessed talking therapies through self-referral. We are investing in those services by putting in an extra £2.3 billion a year to grow mental health services and meet demand. It is not enough simply to expect men to seek help themselves, however.

[Dean Russell]

I thank my hon. Friend the Minister for her kind words and feedback. A couple of years ago, I introduced a ten-minute rule Bill to make mental health first aid part of workplace first aid. Will she take that idea back to her colleagues across Government to see whether we could look at it again? I would like to introduce that again. Ensuring that people in the workplace know that they have someone to go to in the same way as if they had a physical issue could be transformative.

[Maria Caulfield]

I am very happy to discuss that with my hon. Friend. He might be pleased to know that there are mental health first aiders on the floors of the Department of Health and Social Care offices. They support staff there and do a great job. I am keen to speak to him about that.

We need a whole-systems approach, as the APPG highlighted in its report, which I have read. It makes for interesting reading in terms of how we support men, particularly around their different experiences of health services and how we can improve outcomes. A number of organisations are helping to support mental health for men, such as Men’s Sheds, which was mentioned in the debate. Men’s Sheds offers new opportunities to learn skills, build friendships and reduce isolation, and is helping men to meet in different ways from traditional settings, and to build relationships where they may feel comfortable to speak out and ask for help.

We also need to look at how different approaches can work in tandem. Earlier this year, we put out a call for evidence to support the development of a new 10-year plan for mental health. I am pleased that groups such as James’ Place, Men’s Sheds and Andy’s Man Club are among the many involved. We want to reduce suicide rates, and to do that we have to support men, who account for 75% of suicides currently. We are looking to bring forward some specific work on that shortly, and I will happily meet my hon. Friend the Member for Don Valley to see how we can take it forward.

We are taking significant action in terms of mental health, but a number of illnesses affect men in particular, including heart disease, cancer, smoking, and drug and alcohol addiction. While life expectancy in the UK is lower for men, women spend significantly more time than men in ill health and disability. That is why we have a women’s health strategy: because we want to tackle the basis for why women spend so much of their lives in ill health. We can improve life expectancy for men by ensuring that we tackle the illnesses that they face. My hon. Friend has challenged me on that before, because he feels so strongly that there should be a men’s health strategy, but I will happily discuss it with him after the debate to see what more we can do.

Not having a men’s strategy, or indeed a men’s Minister, does not mean that the Government or the NHS take men’s health any less seriously. We will continue to look for ways we can support men’s health. There are a number of exciting initiatives, such as the Man Van, which is an innovative outreach programme launched this year that provides free health checks for men and aims to boost early diagnosis of prostate and other urological cancers. That mobile health clinic visits workplaces and churches in London to improve healthcare access for men who are less likely either to come forward or to receive regular health checks.

The Man Van was developed by the Royal Marsden NHS Foundation Trust. I declare an interest, as I have worked for the hospital in the past and still do some shifts there. Its specialty is enabling us to target the men most at risk of developing prostate cancer and who have poorer outcomes if they are diagnosed, particularly those in manual jobs who often struggle to access healthcare. Black men, who have roughly double the risk of developing prostate cancer, and an increased risk of death once diagnosed, are also being encouraged to get checked. If the results of the pilot studies that are being rolled out show that they were successful, we will roll them out across the country.

In the short time that I have, I will touch on stereotypes, which have been raised throughout the debate. Phrases such as “man up” and outdated beliefs about what it means to be a man do not help men to get the help that they need. One issue that was not touched on much is domestic violence that affects men. The recent crime survey for England and Wales suggests that 13.8% of men aged 16 to 74 have experienced domestic abuse behaviours. That is an estimated 2.9 million male victims. While the figure is much higher for women, that is a considerable number of men who are experiencing domestic violence, and we need to ensure that we are reaching out to them and supporting them. The Government have increased funding by 60% for community-based support focused primarily on male survivors, and we will update the supporting male victims statement in August this year to outline the further work that we will do in this area.

In terms of getting equality for men, I think my hon. Friend the Member for Don Valley will be happy with the work being done to support fathers, particularly new fathers who want to take on a full role in family life. In terms of the work around shared parental leave, men are still more likely than women to have their requests for flexible working turned down by their employer, and men still struggle to get paternity leave rights. We recognise the vital role that dads play in helping to raise their children—that is why we are establishing the family hubs and Start for Life programme—and we are committed to ensuring that men get the parental leave they are entitled to.

In conclusion, today’s debate has raised some prominent issues that are affecting men, but we have not had much time to celebrate men. We all have dads, grandads, husbands, brothers, friends and colleagues who are men and who do a tremendous job. Men sometimes get a raw deal in terms of criticism. When my mum died, my dad had to take me and my brother on when we were teenagers, at a time when there was no such thing as childcare or support for single fathers. He did an incredible job. He used to take me to the football at the weekend, whether I liked it or not, which is why I am now an Arsenal supporter. He used to have to take me to work as well, where I learned to paint and decorate, because childcare was not available in those days.

All of us in this place who are married to men are thankful for the role they play. As my hon. Friend the Member for Penistone and Stocksbridge (Miriam Cates) said, they support us in our roles, and when we have had a terrible week or the online trolls are particularly active, we are very grateful for them just having that cup of tea with us and making us realise that there is a life outside this place.

The opportunity today to debate the issues that matter to men is important, and I will meet my hon. Friend the Member for Don Valley to make sure we pick up on many of the points raised in the debate. It is also an opportunity to celebrate and thank men for all they do for us, not just on International Men’s Day but all year round.