Preventing Violence Against Women: Role of Men

Cat Smith Excerpts

Thursday 4th February 2016 Westminster Hall

[Cat Smith (Lancaster and Fleetwood) (Lab)]

It is a pleasure to serve under your chairmanship, Mr Betts. I pay tribute to the hon. Members for Paisley and Renfrewshire North (Gavin Newlands) and for Brigg and Goole (Andrew Percy) and my hon. Friend the Member for Birmingham, Yardley (Jess Phillips) for securing this debate.

I would like to particularly mention the comments made my hon. Friend, whose experience is unrivalled in this House in terms of the work she has done year after year with women who have been victims of domestic violence. I thank her for her contributions on everyday sexism, which highlighted the experiences to which even we, as MPs, are not immune. The story of a man reaching to touch a woman’s hand on the tube when she grabbed the rail sounded very familiar. Like my hon. Friend, I experienced an incident of groping not that long ago. Unlike her, I did not go for physical violence, but I certainly gave it quite a bit of verbal.

It is clear that violence against women remains a hugely significant problem in Britain, with 900,000 calls relating to domestic violence made to the police in the 12 months up to March 2015. That equates to a staggering 100 calls every hour of every day. Recently released figures show that 33% of crimes involving violence against the person were linked to domestic abuse, as were 12% of sexual offences. Women are overwhelmingly more likely than men to be victims of domestic violence, and it is vital that we work to tackle violence against women and girls. I welcome the opportunity today to discuss the role that men can play in that.

I would like to ask the Minister some specific questions. If she does not feel able to answer them today, I am happy to receive answers by letter. What measures is she taking to ensure that community rehabilitation companies fulfil their contract requirements to provide better offending behaviour programmes, and in particular the Building Better Relationships programme? What steps will be taken to hold them to account if that provision is not made available to all men who require it? What assurances will she give to the courts and the judiciary that any sentence they impose on a perpetrator of domestic violence will be delivered in full and will involve attendance on the Building Better Relationships programme if they choose to impose that sentence?

The campaign to end violence against women has historically been led by women. Women have campaigned energetically for many years for improved legal protection from gender-based violence and have been largely responsible for the delivery of support services, including women’s refuges and rape support services. The leadership role of women in ending gender-based violence is vital. For a subject so intricately linked with female disempowerment, it is crucial that women are at the forefront of those efforts.

However, the leadership role of women does not and must not preclude the involvement of men in the campaign. Gender-based violence has been recognised by both the United Nations and national Governments as a human rights issue. Violence against women is almost always perpetrated by men. Those harmed are men’s wives, mothers, daughters, sisters and friends. Violence against women cannot for a moment be considered an issue only for women.

There is an unfortunate tendency to seek to deflect from discussions of violence against women and girls by pointing to statistics on male victims of domestic abuse. That often presents an obstacle when discussing the role of men in ending violence against women and girls. It also decidedly misses the point. There are, of course, a significant number of male victims of domestic violence. That group, like any other, needs and deserves our support and attention. We can and should support victims of domestic violence, whatever their gender or sexual orientation, but we must also not ignore the substantial imbalance between male and female victims of domestic violence.

The full involvement of men and their active engagement with the campaign brings significant benefits. Men are best able to challenge the attitudes of their peers, who may condone or even engage in violence against women. Unless men are encouraged to speak out, we cannot hope to confront the attitudes and cultural norms that underpin gender-based violence.

Challenging negative gender attitudes also benefits men directly, as articulated by my hon. Friend the Member for Rhondda (Chris Bryant). The negative stereotype of a “real man”—tough and emotionally distant—is as damaging for men as it is for women. The suggestion that for a man to be open about his emotions is somehow unmanly can cause real harm. That attitude is pervasive and can be a significant barrier to men seeking help. The benefits of men’s involvement in ending violence against women requires productive engagement. Rather than impose a sense of guilt or shame or resort to a view of men as only perpetrators, we must instead help men to understand the important role they can play as allies and role models. Organisations such as the white ribbon campaign have made real strides in that area, but work remains to be done.

So how best can men help to confront this insidious problem? First, as I previously alluded to, men can challenge the attitudes of other men and confront their peers. Where anyone—man or woman—witnesses abuse or harmful attitudes, they must not remain silent or offer excuses. As Members may be aware, the virulently misogynist organisation Return of Kings had planned to hold events in the UK on 6 February. The group has called for women to be banned from voting, described a woman’s value as dependent on her “fertility and beauty”, and claimed that women with eating disorders make the best girlfriends. Articles posted on the group’s website have included “5 Reasons to Date a Girl With an Eating Disorder”, “Don’t Work for a Female Boss” and “Biology Says People on Welfare Should Die”. Furthermore, the group’s founder has publically advocated legalised rape.

Those views will be abhorrent to the vast majority of men and cannot be allowed to go unchallenged. It is welcome that in the face of vocal and sustained objection to those events, the group was forced to cancel its plans. That shows clearly the difference we can all make when we make it clear that misogyny will not be accepted. I thank the Minister for her response to the urgent question in the Chamber this morning on that topic.

Sexist attitudes can be seen as harmless, and some men may remain unaware of the impact of destructive attitudes they may hold or of their behaviour. Gender-based violence is often underpinned by sexism. Where sexism is challenged, it frequently elicits the same response: “Get a sense of humour.” Let us be clear: sexism is not harmless and it is not funny. It is deeply damaging and must be confronted. It is important that we all—men and women—learn to recognise abuse when we see it. Physical violence may be the most visible form of abuse, but emotional violence and coercive control can be just as damaging. If we learn to spot abuse in all its forms, we can make a real difference.

We must also introduce compulsory and universal education programmes on healthy relationships. There is currently no statutory requirement for all children to be taught about what a healthy relationship is and what abuse is. Current provision is piecemeal at best, and that cannot continue.

Men should also have the courage to look inwardly and confront their own attitudes. That can of course be problematic, and many men may become defensive or feel under attack, but if we are to truly end gender-based violence, we must address the mentality that allows it to be perpetrated or ignored. We must encourage men to understand themselves and to work to change attitudes that may knowingly or inadvertently perpetuate violence.

Unfortunately, where men express sympathy for or an understanding of what are perceived as women’s issues, they are often met with questions about their own masculinity. That can prevent men from speaking up. We must challenge damaging assumptions about men as much as we must confront negative attitudes to women. We must encourage men to have the confidence to speak out.

What role can politicians play? We can lead by example, as men and women who are not afraid to speak out on gender-based violence or confront the attitudes that allow it to continue. We desperately need role models to make it clear to men that they should never stand idly by or condone violence. Influential men in all walks of life, including MPs, can play a part in that by pledging their support.

Men can and should play a full role in ending gender-based violence. We must ensure that we do not resort to inflicting a sense of guilt, but instead encourage men to become involved and help them to understand that they can play a crucial part in securing real change. If we work together, we can consign violence against women and girls to history.