Bereaved Children: Registry

Carol Monaghan Excerpts

Tuesday 28th March 2023 Westminster Hall

[Carol Monaghan (Glasgow North West) (SNP)]

It is a pleasure to speak in this important debate on a subject that I think many of us had not considered. I thank the hon. Member for Edinburgh West (Christine Jardine) for bringing the debate forward, and for drawing the House’s attention to what is clearly a very big issue. I also thank her for talking about her personal experience. It is when hon. Members talk personally or, indeed, as the hon. Member for Strangford (Jim Shannon) said, talk about people we are aware of that we start to get a sense of how such issues affect the people we serve. He summed the subject up when he talked about the eight-year-old who was more worried about her granny than herself. That internalisation of grief will obviously have an impact on the little ones we are talking about, so we need to start looking at this subject properly.

Bereavement affects many aspects of our lives and we have to put proper care and support in place for those who are bereaved; that is crucial for the health and wellbeing of anyone who is grieving, but particularly for children. It is difficult to get the statistics on this issue, as has been mentioned, but it is reckoned that by the age of 10, 60% of children and young people have experienced the loss of a family member in some way. Perhaps it is not a very close family member; possibly it is a grandparent, aunt or cousin. By the age of 16, between 4% and 7% of children in the UK will have lost a parent. That is quite a stark statistic. That will affect children from low-income households more than those who are born into wealthier ones. They may lose a parent or a sibling. The key factor for a grieving child is having a supportive adult in their life. Some parents might not be in a position to provide that support if they are overwhelmed by their own grief, so other adults, such as teachers and support workers, can do that.

In Scotland, we have done a lot of work with care-experienced children and young people; we have identified them and made sure that support is in place, but that was possible only because we identified them. We have to do the same for bereaved children, so that we can unlock available services. The Scottish Government have awarded the charitable organisation includem a contract to deliver the national childhood bereavement project, which will develop a curriculum in bereavement. It was created to improve support for those who are bereaved during their childhood.

During the pandemic, many children and young people not only suffered major disruption to their life and potentially lost a parent or grandparent prematurely, but were affected by social distancing measures that did not allow them the normal grief they would have had. Limits were put on numbers of people attending funerals, and there were barriers to the usual support. Even simple things such as getting hugs from family members were not possible. The project has tried to understand the experiences of children, young people and young adults in Scotland. The hon. Member for Edinburgh West mentioned that a 20-year-old is an adult. Is an adult really ready to cope with everything life can throw at them? In most cases, no. It is important that we look at how the issue impacts young adults as well.

To ensure that support is available to all young people who experience a bereavement, we need to know who those young people are. Schools have an important role to play. They are often aware of young people’s bereavement, and they will have a guidance teacher to whom the young person can speak, or pupil support assistants will be assigned to that young person to ensure the support is there. Schools are probably where there is good support, but are we sure it is always provided? We need to be careful about that. Ensuring that high-quality, person-centred care and support is available requires us to know who has to access it, and how do we sort that?

I have been dealing with a case over the last few months. I will not mention a great deal of detail, but this young person was bereaved as he was about to sit his exams. He actually did incredibly well in them, apart from one, in which he did not do so well. Often, exam boards do not properly take into account the impact of grief and bereavement, and the process that young people go through to get themselves back up and running. Of course, exam results can determine future chances, so it is not just schools and social services that should be aware. A register of the kind that the hon. Member for Edinburgh West is talking about would ensure that when young people were sitting exams, there was a flag or highlighter to show that they have gone through—and are still going through—a traumatic experience.

I have been involved in school records in Glasgow. When parents are filling in start-of-year information, there is now a box to tick to show whether the child or young person comes from an armed forces or veteran family. That allows support to be put in place, if required, for that young person. It would be easy to add another tick-box on the school register. I know that the hon. Lady is talking about far more than that, but it would be an easy, simple thing to do at the start of the year, so that we know that the issue is definitely recorded. With the best will in the world, while the school might be aware of the death of a parent, other family members can also have an important role in a young person’s life. This is about getting support in place, and being a voice for young people who would not necessarily have that voice themselves.

Finally, I pay tribute to the hon. Member for Edinburgh West for the work she has done. I was not aware of how important this issue was until I started looking into it. As she said, this change should be a straightforward, easy thing to do. We can register people to vote in elections; we can register people with GPs; and we collect all sorts of information, so let us get that tick added to the box for these young people, to ensure that support is available when and however they need it.