Queen’s Speech

Baroness Goldie Excerpts

Wednesday 18th May 2016 Lords Chamber

[Baroness Goldie (Con)]

My Lords, I beg to second my noble friend’s Motion for an humble Address. It is a great honour to be asked to undertake the task of seconding this Motion, which was so ably and eloquently proposed by my noble friend Lord King. By any measure this has been an extraordinary, memorable and wonderful day, and it has afforded me three unforgettable experiences. I felt that being in the presence of Her Majesty the Queen and being able to watch her discharge her obligations as monarch at the age of 90 with all the dignity and elegance which have been the hallmark of her long reign was a privilege.

I have often wondered about the secret of this royal resilience and happy condition of longevity, because whatever it is, I would like to be in on it. I think I have cracked it. It is down to two things: a combination of Her Majesty’s preferred lunchtime tipple of a gin and Dubonnet, and the corgis. In fact, I am convinced that my friend the Secretary of State for Health could save shedloads of money on the care of the nation by simply prescribing a lunchtime gin and Dubonnet for all hospital in-patients and presenting each of them with a corgi on discharge. Just imagine the enduring benefits of such an innovation. All these new corgi owners would have to get up and out for the morning dog walk, develop routine and expand physical activity, and then meet all their new corgi-owning chums, so socialising would increase. They would then all repair back to their own or each other’s houses for the lunchtime gin and Dubonnet, and a great sense of well-being would descend upon the nation. Meanwhile, GPs would be sitting with their feet up on the desk looking at empty patient lists, and hospital beds would lie unoccupied. If we ran out of corgis, once again Her Majesty could come to our aid; I understand that dorgis are the happy outcome of a frisky engagement between a corgi and a dachshund. The potential benefits of this modest change to the NHS are boundless, and I hope that the Secretary of State will pay close attention to my analysis and recommendation.

My second unforgettable experience is addressing a parliamentary Chamber where in number my Conservative colleagues exceed the entire complement of all Members in the Scottish Parliament. For someone like me, this is dizzyingly exciting.

My third unforgettable experience was a delightful and, I suspect, very expensive lunch on the terrace, which someone else paid for. The day just gets better and better.

This is a place of mysteries, idiosyncrasies and enigmas, so I am less than clear about why I have been selected to make this speech. I recall, when attending one of the delightful soirees so charmingly hosted by the Leader of the House, my noble friend Lady Stowell, making myself useful by trotting round with the plates of canapes. I thought I carried that off with some style, so perhaps this commended me to the powers that be. But if so, I have an uneasy sense of deception. I would like to say that I was on that occasion motivated to assist by social mores and a good Scottish upbringing, but that would be disingenuous. Quite simply, I had worked out that it was the only way I could maintain regular and discreet access to the food. This stratagem was entirely pragmatic. Having been exposed to Edinburgh during 17 years in the Scottish Parliament, I had no desire to find that the Edinburgh custom “You’ll have had your tea” had been exported to my noble friend Lady Stowell’s soirees. My fears were groundless, although without wishing to appear churlish, I did think the canapes were a tad on the small side.

However, whatever the reason for my presence in this role, it is a great pleasure to second my noble friend Lord King’s Motion for an humble Address, which in itself induces two reflections. I am still grappling with the traditions, practices, customs and conventions of this venerable place. For example, anyone on these Benches is “my noble friend”, despite my perhaps knowing little or nothing about the individual and perhaps having scarcely clapped eyes on him or her. For all I know, my noble friend could be an unmitigated self-promoting opportunist and chancer, but this charming, quaint and discerning courtesy presumes otherwise. Just for the avoidance of doubt, I have always regarded my noble friend Lord King as being a regular, 24-carat-gold sort of chap. Anyone born in Glasgow, with a voice like vintage claret, whose profile could give Michael Douglas a run for his money, is absolutely fine in my book.

My other reflection is on the phrase “an humble Address”, which is what I was informed I was seconding. I have to say that, having attended a Scottish primary school, many an absorbing day was passed reflecting on the esoteric delights of the indefinite article “a” and “an”. At this happy time, of course, the SNP had not got its mitts on Scottish education. We were also very strong on the aspirate “h”: horses, heaven and haggis. So we were not, if I may quote from “My Fair Lady”,

“down in Soho Square, dropping ‘h’s’ everywhere”.

We were up in Renfrewshire, aspirating our “h’s” with such gusto we were nearly blowing the roof off the primary school. We were also preceding the aspirate “h” with “a” and the silent vowel-sound “h” with “an”. So I am, with respect to your Lordships, and in deference to my former teachers, seconding the Motion for “a” humble Address.

I would not wish in any way to appear a didactic and lecturing Scot—that I leave to the First Minister of Scotland—but I might observe to your Lordships that when it comes to fighting successful elections, perhaps Ruth Davidson and her Scottish Conservatives can provide some useful lessons. They have a proud story to tell and I am very proud of her, and I thank my noble friend Lord King for his generous comments. Ruth Davidson led our campaign with passion, dynamism, energy and aplomb, and with a clear, positive message to stand up for the union, respect the referendum result, provide the opposition that the Scottish Parliament so desperately needs, and get on with the business of using that now very powerful parliament to grow the economy, create jobs and provide quality public services. I hope she too will find having 30 Conservative colleagues dizzyingly exciting. Ruth Davidson has repositioned the Scottish Conservatives and Scotland is in a better place.

The Queen’s Speech outlined substantial measures to continue the Government’s progress in making the United Kingdom a better place. Some perspective is timely. A challenging and difficult journey was embarked upon in 2010; since then, significant progress has been made. That journey to a better place is underpinned by the measures announced today: continued responsible stewardship of our public finances; the creation of jobs and apprenticeships; speeding up broadband; important changes to prison regimes and to the criminal justice system in relation to those who are afflicted by mental health issues; a massive housebuilding programme; and maintenance of our national security. These are just some of the important proposals to create that better place.

There is a cloud hanging over all of this: the European referendum, to which my noble friend Lord King so astutely alluded. I speak with some experience when I say that referendum campaigns have three certainties: division, distraction and a result. In Scotland, the independence referendum campaign lasted about 18 months. It was divisive, at times corrosively so. It split families, it split communities, it split workplaces, and many of these wounds are as yet unhealed. The referendum significantly distracted the SNP Government from the business of their domestic housekeeping. Then we had the result: independence was rejected decisively. The SNP has not respected that result. According to Nicola Sturgeon, one thing after another can be a trigger for another referendum, from a UK Brexit decision to presumably a bad hair day or a heel falling off one of her stilettos.

Mercifully, the EU referendum is a much shorter campaign. It is divisive; inevitably, it is distracting; sadly, at times, it is odiously unprepossessing. But there will be a result. After that result, whatever it is, there will need to be a healing of wounds, a closing of divisions and a reconciliation of views. Whatever else is going on, hospitals must continue to care for patients, courts must continue to administer justice, and schools, colleges and universities must continue to educate our young. The economy must continue to be vigilantly monitored. The peoples of the United Kingdom will look to their politicians not to eat lumps out of one another, but to regroup, refocus and, with amity, get on with the important business of running the country and delivering the excellent proposals contained in this Queen’s Speech. In that spirit, and with great pleasure, I second the Motion for “a” humble Address.

Motion to Adjourn

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