Valedictory Debate

Alicia Kearns Excerpts

Friday 24th May 2024 Commons Chamber

[Alicia Kearns (Rutland and Melton) (Con)]

That must have been a dark time in your office.

[Stephen Hammond]

Yes, our productivity went down.

--- Later in debate ---

[Sir James Duddridge (Rochford and Southend East) (Con)]

May I first express my sadness that you, Madam Deputy Speaker, are also standing down from the coterie of Essex MPs? I thank you for your part in recognising the talents of a young James Duddridge in Melton Mowbray, and rubber-stamping, over a glass of white wine, my aim to serve as a Member of Parliament.

Comrades, time flies in this place. I remember, in 2004, having round my kitchen table Ian Robertson, my chairman, who is a great sage; the late Tony Smithson, who was my first agent; and Tony Cox, who is now leader of the council. I said, “I’m really ready for the general election.” We named it five-five-five, because we predicted, a year in advance, the date of the election—at that time, it was not that difficult to predict. They said, “A year will go quickly,” but 20 years has now passed, which is amazing.

I want to thank the people who selected me and elected me. I must have been doing something right, because at each election, more people have voted for me than at the previous election. I jotted down a few bits of advice, but when I re-read them after hearing former Prime Minister talking about democracy and a former Secretary of State talking about defence and defence spending, they seemed a little low-level. This is my advice anyway. Let someone else manage your bloody email. It is absolutely dreadful and drives me mad. Eat less, and perhaps more importantly, drink less. Join the armed forces parliamentary scheme, which is absolutely amazing and superb for finding out about colleagues and the services. Value family over politics, and do not covet others’ success; help them achieve that success.

My team have been fantastic. Pindie Fanibe runs my office. I call her the boss; every now and again, I am allowed to make a decision. Marcus Llewelyn-Bowen—sorry, Llewellyn-Rothschild; that was a Freudian slip. He is very flamboyant, my Marcus. He is registered blind and he goes into hospital every other day for dialysis, but he still carries on as my caseworker. He is absolutely amazing. Before me, he served another Member of Parliament. I thank James Moyies, who is an exceptional individual. He stood against me twice as the UKIP candidate, but then became my agent and is now my employee. I am sure he will carry on. I also thank Sam Pettengall, who I hope to see leaving politics and joining the Royal Navy, certainly as a reserve, and Cheryll Gardiner, whose son Luke will hopefully come to this place as a Derbyshire Member of Parliament.

[Alicia Kearns]

On my hon. Friend’s point about loyalty to him, today in the Chamber we have spoken a lot about how important it is for women to come to this place, but women do not come to this place without good men behind them. This will do nothing for your reputation, but you are the good man who brought me into this place. I know that you may sometimes regret it, but there are few people in this world who meet a young woman twice, each time for less than half an hour, and then, when an election is announced, move them into their house the next day—open their home to them—and put their entire life aside to fight every day for that person. It is no surprise that you have such loyalty from your team, because your heart is so enormous, and without you, I would not be here. I am so grateful to you, and to Katy and your kids, who allowed that to happen. You are a phenomenal man, and I will very much miss you in this place.

[Sir James Duddridge]

You are not going to make me cry. I thank my hon. Friend, and I do think we need to change whom we elect as candidates. For a number of reasons, I hope I am replaced by a woman in Rochford and Southend East—or Southend East and Rochford, as it is now called.

I would like to mention Lucy Paton-Brown, who was with me for 10 years and is absolutely fabulous, and Philippa Buckley, who is now in Zambia but did a great job for me. I also want to mention my wife, because she worked for me, and also because I would get in trouble if I did not mention her. We have three lovely children, and I am going to spend more time looking after our new arrival, the one-year-old. It happens to be a Labrador dog, which is proving to be much harder than the children.

I would not recommend coming to this place—and it is the best job in the world. I have no regrets. I served 19 years, including nine years on the Front Bench in five different Departments under three Prime Ministers. I particularly enjoyed the camaraderie of the Whips Office. At one point, I held the title of the most sacked Minister in the Conservative Government; I like to think of it as the most reappointable Minister in troubled times, but others may disagree. I was the Minister that took through the withdrawal Act, having voted three times against that as a Bill, having never voted against the Government before. I am particularly proud of my time as Minister for Africa, something I got to do twice, building on my previous work as a banker in Africa. That is something I would very much like to do.

I thought I was going to do at least another 10 years. That is not the right thing for me now, but it has been brilliant. I look at everyone, or I would look at everyone if I had kept my glasses on, and I can think of a moment of joy with them, a moment of sadness, an embarrassing moment, a—