Child Development

Lord Sacks Excerpts

Thursday 11th October 2012 Lords Chamber

[Lord Sacks]

My Lords, I, too, thank the right reverend Prelate the Bishop of Chester for initiating this important and timely debate. I wish that I could follow my predecessor, the right reverend Prelate the Bishop of Derby, and rap my speech. Instead, forgive me if I say simply that the timeliness of this debate is that we have heard much talk in recent weeks about the phrase “one nation”.

I believe that in the space of half a century we have become two nations that are divided into those who, as children, have and do not have the gift of growing up in stable, loving association with the two parents who brought them into being. According to copious research, those who have not will be disadvantaged in many ways. On average, they will do less well at school and have less chance of attending university. They will be less likely to find and keep a job. They will be less well off and less likely to form stable relationships of their own. They will be more prone to depression and its syndromes. They may even be less healthy. All that will be through no fault of their own but through the circumstances of their early childhood.

The result is a deep and dangerous divide between two cultures, in one of which children are growing up without the support and presence of their natural fathers and often without constructive male role models. They are at risk of being robbed of the habits of the heart, the security and self-confidence, the discipline and restraint that they will need safely to negotiate the challenges of an ever-changing world. Too many of our children are being robbed of hope.

The depth of this divide has been hidden from public attention by a perfectly honourable desire not to sound judgmental, not to condemn any freely chosen way of life and not to add further to the immense burdens of being a single parent. I respect those scruples. But we have seen in recent weeks—the noble and learned Baroness, Lady Butler-Sloss, referred to it—how an equally honourable wish not to offend certain sensitivities allowed young girls in Rochdale and Rotherham to be ruthlessly exploited. There is a price to be paid for silence and it is usually children who pay that price.

We cannot change the past but we can change the future. Many years ago, in the course of making a television documentary on the state of families in Britain, I discovered the work of a speech therapist, who was teaching five year-old children and their parents a set of skills—listening, problem-solving, praising, negotiating and contract-making. They were intended to help to cure the children’s stammers, but one after the other the parents told me that they helped to save their marriages. I suddenly realised that there are easily teachable skills that can transform young people’s ability to make and sustain relationships. I wonder why we have not explored the possibility of introducing them into the curriculum. They are not cognitive or judgmental; they are learnt by playing games. They are transformative and they are fun.

We as a society have a duty to see that our children are given the best chance of success that we can give them. That means, in part, doing all that we can, especially through the educational system, to train children from the earliest possible age to develop the skills and sensibilities that will help them to become loving, caring and responsible parents. I urge the Government to consider new and creative ways to do just this.