Children: Parenting for Success in School

Lord Eden of Winton Excerpts

Thursday 3rd February 2011 Lords Chamber

[Lord Eden of Winton]

My Lords, I am sure that you would all agree that we have just been treated to a real class act, a great speech. As she reminded us, the noble Baroness was for 10 years a civil servant, then she served for nine years at the BBC. In a sense, therefore, she has been both gamekeeper and poacher—the latter occupation, I suspect, finding particular favour with many of your Lordships. She has a reputation for being a straight talker, telling it as it is without fear or favour. We welcome that in this House and look forward to many more such worthwhile contributions from her to our debates.

The noble Lord, Lord Northbourne, has already received proper tribute for bringing this debate to our attention. He has made the welfare of children and family very much his own subject, on which his many years of study and practical engagement have made him a considerable expert. Some years ago, I was the proprietor of a private school for children aged three to 11. That experience gave me an insight, as an observer, into some fundamental truths about the relationship between parent and child.

Being a good parent is not easy. It is true that, in some cultures, it is almost instinctive. To some extent, we have lost that here. That is why it must be helpful that the practice of parenting is taught. There is a clear need for sufficient welltrained health visitors and for the provision of children's centres and the like, to which young parents can turn for advice and guidance. What parents should do is not rocket science, but it is hard work.

Were I now to be speaking directly to a new young parent, I would have the temerity to put forward three prime points. I hope that noble Lords will not find my comments too simplistic. I take courage from the fact that most, if not all, of my points have already been mentioned by other noble Lords. What I am about to say is, to my mind, fundamental to good parenting and to the preparation of a child for subsequent success.

My first point is communication. It is essential that parents talk to their children from tiny babyhood onwards. One of the saddest sights in our modern society is the pushchair with the child facing away from the parent who is pushing it. Both parent and child lose out as a result. There is no communication between them; there is not even eye contact, and eye contact is very important for a small child.

Secondly, it is important, as early as possible, to establish a routine, to do so from day one. The parent should set the parameters and be consistent. That gives the child a valuable sense of security. Thirdly, and above all, as has been said—most notably by the right reverend Prelate in his excellent maiden speech—a child needs to be loved and to feel valued. A lack of love in a child's early life will leave a scar for the rest of its life.

So, communication, order, commitment and love are the essential ingredients of good parenting, the employment of which will help to prepare the child as it confronts the challenges and opportunities that will come its way.