International Men’s Day

John Slinger Excerpts

Thursday 21st November 2024 Commons Chamber

[John Slinger (Rugby) (Lab)]

International Men’s Day UK seeks to promote a positive conversation about men, manhood and masculinity. I believe that we need to debate definitions of masculinity, because outdated social mores about masculinity still all too often permeate society and influence boys’ and men’s behaviour. We need to challenge stereotypes. Being a strong male should not equate to being unkind, nor should it equate to eschewing creativity or hiding one’s feelings.

I will provide a couple of examples, one from the distant past and one from the more recent past. Perhaps we should remember, as we hold this debate, that knights, princes and kings of old were expected to be poets, musicians, dancers, linguists and much more, as well as soldiers, leaders and so on. It was not one or the other. More recently, not many people know that our current Special Air Service, the best special forces in the world—alongside the Special Boat Service, in case any of them are watching—comprises 21 SAS Regiment (Artists), a regiment of the Army Reserve. The reference to artists is because a volunteer regiment was formed in the 19th century named the Middlesex Rifle Volunteer Corps (Artists). More latterly, it was the Artists Rifles. Formed of painters, sculptors, musicians, architects, engravers and actors, it was tough and creative. Its enlisted men and officers fought in the second Boer war and the first world war. After the second world war, the Artists Rifles was renamed as 21 SAS (Artists) Volunteers.

It is vital that we challenge stereotypes not just as some academic thought experiment, but because the effect on boys and men of misplaced conceptions about manhood can be horrific for their mental health. Men, sadly, accounted for three quarters of suicides in 2023, with 4,506 tragedies—17.4 deaths per 100,000, which was the highest level since 1999. That is horrific. It is tragic for the individuals and their friends and families, and it is also unnecessary.

I want to touch on an example from Rugby where men are getting together to do something about that terrible situation. Back and Forth Mens Mental Health in my constituency was founded in 2023 after the suicide of a friend of one of the founder members. It is based on a simple idea: to organise regular walks for men who are struggling with all aspects of life. It has grown to have 1,700 followers in a year and has achieved charity status. Encouraging communication is at its core, because the biggest challenge is to break down the stigma of talking about mental health and its associated social anxiety. My constituents in Rugby will benefit from its Christmas breakfast event in December, its social evenings and, of course, its walks. It also has a podcast, which is a good listen. One of its members has said:

“The group has helped me find my purpose in life again.”

I thank my hon. Friend the Member for Bishop Auckland (Sam Rushworth) for securing this important and timely debate and for his impressive speech. I also thank hon. Members across the House for their thoughtful contributions. There is so much more to do. Within this challenge it is important to redefine masculinity, it is important that we support charities that work to break the stigma around mental health, and it is important that we send a message to boys and men that kindness is a strength, admitting their feelings is a strength and being creative is a strength. Finally, they must always, always seek help—from a friend or, if needed, medical support—if their mental health is ever at risk.