Early Parenthood: Supporting Fathers

Andrew Selous Excerpts

Wednesday 30th January 2019 Westminster Hall

[Andrew Selous (South West Bedfordshire) (Con)]

It is a pleasure to speak in this debate. I begin in the same way as my hon. Friend the Member for Chatham and Aylesford (Tracey Crouch) did, by saying that we are all here for mums as well, including single mums. In fact, the last debate of this nature that I shared with the Minister was on maternal perinatal mental health. A number of men led that debate, so it goes without saying that we are all 100% behind mums and single mums, just as we are behind dads.

Mums need support, so an important issue is involving fathers and helping them to play their role in equal parenting, which is a really important phrase—I am glad it has been introduced several times in this debate. We know from the research that we are not getting this right at the moment, because 69% of fathers feel like a spare part. If fathers are supported and helped to be involved, as the vast majority of them want to be, they have the ability to offer round-the-clock support to new mums.

There are some worrying figures on what is going on at the moment. Looking at income groups, less than 31% of people earning under £20,000 turn up to antenatal classes; among those earning more than £70,000, more than 71% turn up. We are not managing to reach really important groups of fathers who need that support. The inspection framework does not look hard enough at what areas are doing to help fathers—indeed, fathers are absent from a lot of the inspection frameworks.

From Government research in 2012, we know that if fathers are involved in the care of a young child, parents are a third less likely to split up. When the Minister was recently before the Select Committee on Health and Social Care to discuss suicide prevention, she said that debt and relationship breakdown are the two major causes of suicide. That is a really powerful reason, with a number of important outcomes, as to why we should help fathers to be involved in the care of their new-born children.

In 2016, we set up a £39 million fund at the Department for Work and Pensions to reduce parental conflict in workless families, which was an excellent initiative that I really support. We need a second fund to improve the quality of relationships between couples who are at risk of separation when they have new children. There is evidence to support that, and I think there is an overwhelming need. It would be really helpful for mothers. I ask the Minister to take it back to the Department and to the inter-ministerial working group on the first 1,000 days, with which she is fully engaged. That would be a really good development.

I want to give a plug for a little programme called “Let’s Stick Together”. I am not allowed visual aids, so I better not hold it up, but the course reading material could fit into a purse or wallet very easily. I have personally handed a copy to our last two Prime Ministers and encouraged them to take it up across Government. It contains some really simple tips to help the quality of a couple’s relationship when they have a new child. I commend the work of the charity Dads 2 Be, which is active in a number of hospitals in south London. It focuses on antenatal work for groups of dads and helps them with the changes to their life, and also focuses on improving relationship quality. My question to the Minister is very simple, and it is my overriding plea to her: given that we are doing this in some NHS hospitals, can we please do it everywhere, throughout these islands, across the whole of our United Kingdom? It is sensible and a no-brainer. Dads want it, and we know there would be better outcomes for mums and children.

I commend some quite simple changes. A health visiting team in Lincolnshire managed to increase the participation rate of fathers in the primary birth visit from 20% to 70% by addressing their letter, “Dear new mum and dad” rather than just, “Dear parent”. That is a really simple thing and did not cost any money. It said very clearly to fathers, “We want you. You’re important and welcome. We expect and want you to turn up, and we’re here to help.” We can do some simple things that do not cost a lot of money; they just cost some political will. They are really needed, and I ask the Minister to do them.

--- Later in debate ---

[Eddie Hughes (Walsall North) (Con)]

It is a pleasure to serve under your chairmanship, Mr Davies.

I thank my hon. Friend the Member for Chatham and Aylesford (Tracey Crouch) for securing this excellent debate. As I have tweeted, what a great group of Conservative dads are supporting the debate, although I feel slightly unhappy about speaking after three people who are young enough to be my children. That makes me feel a little bit old. I wanted to contribute because my early career highlights the difficulty that dads can have. I thank my first wife for being kind enough to have our children on a Saturday evening, which meant I was dismissed from the hospital, and about an hour after my children were born I was in the pub with about 30 friends and family celebrating the birth. It all turned out damned convenient for me, although having heard stories from others, I appreciate it can turn out differently.

I started life as a civil engineer, working on a building site in an obviously male dominated environment. I will not make excuses for that, but construction, particularly the very large-scale construction I was involved in, has a particular nature. The idea that I might have gone to work one day and suggested to my boss that flexible working would be a good idea, and asked whether I could come in a bit later, is incredibly difficult. By the time I was 25, I was running a building site with a gang of up to 50 blokes who would have thought I was crazy. We were on site at 7 o’clock in the morning in a process that meant that if someone did not turn up and do their job at a particular time, other people would not be able to do theirs.

Fortunately for me, I decided that working outside was too cold, and joined an American company called Cartus, where I was responsible for maintenance of the properties in its portfolio nationally. I found the world to be a completely different place. It was a much more welcoming environment with regard to flexibility in the workplace, but I may not have appreciated at the time the majority female workforce. I mention that because, in preparation for this debate, I read documents and papers from around the world, and I had not realised how difficult legislation is in America. I read a paper from the National Bureau of Economic Research, published in 2015, when a form of parental leave was just being introduced in California. The early research from that paper showed that if parental leave was introduced, fathers were more likely to be engaged in parental support, and that, interestingly, fathers are more likely to take up that parental leave for their first child or if the child is a boy.

Clearly, there is some work to be done to ensure that men do not lose interest after the first child and that they take equal interest in daughters and sons. I have one of each, and I appreciate the stress that goes with having a daughter. She seemed considerably more difficult for me to manage and look after than my son did. It is interesting that research suggests that there might be a difference in the way they are treated.

Government have a role to play, and that does not always have to cost money. We need to show intent; we need to show men that they have a role to play and that it is important in the 21st century that they play it to their fullest ability. For that not to be the case seems counterintuitive. I loved my role as a dad; in fact, I told colleagues earlier that I am ready to be a grandparent and I have made sure my children are aware of that. There is no rush, but I will be ready when they come. Indeed, the hon. Member for Hampstead and Kilburn (Tulip Siddiq), who recently gave birth, sent me a photo, which made me immediately feel paternal.

We have a role to play, but what will we do to play it? Documents have been mentioned, and “A Manifesto to Strengthen Families”, published more than a year ago, has some excellent ideas for Government to follow. As has been mentioned, we have a more significant male population in prison, so it is very important to ensure that men do not lose contact with their families. To reduce reoffending rates, we need to maintain that bond.

[Andrew Selous]

My hon. Friend may not be aware that the Ministry of Justice commissioned the Farmer review, which offered 21 recommendations to strengthen the family relationships of prisoners, because there is evidence that that leads to less reoffending and keeps us all safe. The Ministry of Justice has adopted those 21 recommendations, so there has been some progress made in that area.

[Eddie Hughes]

It is excellent and reassuring to hear of that progress. The point was also made about the amount of paternity pay—£145.18. When I started work on a building site, I earned £50 a day, so £250 a week. Even 30 years ago, it would have been very difficult for me, as a young man starting off with a young family, to cope on a reduced income of £145, for a couple of weeks. It is great that the opportunity is there for men to take two weeks of leave, but it is important to try to make sure that is not financially difficult.

This is a complicated area, so I conclude by referring my constituents in particular to the website of the Share the Joy campaign, where they can find more details of their rights with regard to maternity and paternity leave. They can get more details about sharing parental leave up to 50 weeks, so they can take leave together and share the parenting experience very early on in their children’s lives.