Easter Adjournment

Adam Thompson Excerpts

Tuesday 8th April 2025 Commons Chamber

[Adam Thompson (Erewash) (Lab)]

A few weeks ago my barber, Ev, sent me a DM. It was a video from three lads in Ilkeston in my constituency, and it was going viral. Owen, Harrison and Roy were talking about how life was for them as teenage boys in 2025. They talked about not having anything to do, about the youth clubs having shut down, and about getting in trouble with the police because they did not have anything to do. The boys talked about troubles at home. They had lost a mum, they talked about tough childhoods, and about how they support each other through their lives. They talked about how they just wanted to see each other succeed, and the last line of the video from one of them was

“these will be my boys forever.”

Owen, Harrison and Roy reminded me of my own time growing up, and of my own boys. Throughout my time in school, and indeed well into my mid-20s, I took no interest in politics, because I felt it was not something I had a stake in. What I did care about, though, was the group of friends I grew up with. I first properly met my boys at a party when I was 16, at Joe’s house in north Cardiff. I was sat awkwardly in a corner, too uncool to talk to anyone beyond the one or two people I came along with, and generally afraid of the significantly more socially adept groups of teenagers around me. As I got to know them, though, and as I became one of them, I felt that I had finally found a tribe—young men with shared interests in heavy music, in Skate 3, and in making fun of each other as often and as brutally as possible. As we grew, we did all the things that young men do: we one-upped each other, we drank, we argued—we were immortal.

One day, everything changed. On Wednesday 10 October 2018, Andrew sent a message to our group chat. It started:

“Boys, I think it’s time you should know. Tom was involved in a very bad accident at work yesterday. He got trapped under a camper van. He’s not doing so well, he’s in intensive care currently after having surgery last night.”

Tom—Tomas Shackson—worked with his dad in their autobody business, and he had a terrible accident indeed. Later that week, Tom died of his injuries.

In many ways, Tom’s death caused us all to reassess everything. We found ourselves facing our own mortality and the unexpected, irreplaceable loss of someone who we had called a brother for most of our lives up until that point. The way we interacted with each other changed, our interpersonal relationships deepened, and we suddenly had to be there for each other in ways that we hadn’t even considered before. We started talking about our own happiness, and I felt that we collectively opened up about our own struggles, and things that our prior macho bravado had stopped us from sharing previously. To this day, I have a note pinned to my kitchen wall from Dan, which he sent me in the post after Tom’s accident. It says:

“Here if you need anything, brother.”

None of the boys had ever even sent me any post before, but every time I see it, it reminds me that Dan, and all my boys, are indeed here for me, anytime I need them.

In the years since Tom’s death, our once bravado-fuelled group has evolved. We learned to talk about our issues, and share and develop a new masculinity, based on mutual support and love for each other. I tell my friends I love them every time I see them, and we have grown to become well-rounded adults, with partners, wives, children and families that we know Tom would be very proud of. I give a special shout-out to Joe today, who this past weekend, after 15 years of graft, became a consultant hand surgeon. We are incredibly proud of him.

All of that is why I think it is so important for those of us who have been on such a journey to share our stories with boys, like Owen, Harrison and Roy, who are growing up today. With the rise of increasingly toxic online culture, and with so much social media encouraging boys to take increasingly hateful stances, spreading vile misogyny and the lie that women and girls are somehow beneath them, it is incumbent on us all to share the positives that can be gained by opening up and being there for each other, as boys and as men, and letting each other know that we are here for one another, whenever we need it.